England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Short stories, English
"Oh, I could see: your manner was enough. As if I either helped it
on--or could have prevented it! We used to have just a bit of talking
and laughing together, he and I, but that was all."
That's all! And the gold chain was still on Harriet's neck. Maria
suppressed a sigh.
"Whether I blamed you for it, Harriet Roe, or whether I blamed myself,
is of no moment now. The past can never be recalled or redeemed in this
world--its remembrance alone remains. I want to do you a little service,
Harriet. Nothing may come of it, but it is my duty to speak."
Amidst the shadows of the withy beds, under the silent stars, Maria
spoke, dropping her voice to a whisper. In a sufficiently curious but
accidental manner, she had heard something said the previous week about
Louis Roe. A stranger, who had known him in France, spoke very much
in his disfavour. He said that any girl, if she cared for her future
happiness and credit would be mad to unite herself to him. Maria had
asked no particulars; they might not have been given if she had; but the
impression of Louis Roe left on her mind was not a good one. All this
she quietly repeated to Harriet. It was received in anything but a
friendly spirit.
"Thank you for nothing, Maria Lease. Because you lost your own
husband--that was to have been--you think you'll try what you can do
to deprive me of mine. A slice of revenge, I suppose: but it won't
succeed."
"Harriet, you are mistaken," rejoined Maria; and Miss Harriet thought
she had never in her life heard so mournfully sad a tone as the words
were spoken in. "So much self-reproach fell upon me that bitter evening
when he was found dead: reproach that can never be lifted from me while
time shall last: that I do not think I can ever again do an ill turn in
this life, or give an unkind word. The whole world does not seem to be
as sinful in its wickedness as I was in my harsh unkindness; and there's
no sort of expiation left to me. If I pass my whole existence laying my
hands under other people's feet in humble hope to serve them, it cannot
undo the bitterness of my passion when I exposed him before Johnny
Ludlow. The exposure was more than he could bear; and he--he put an end
to it. I suffer always, Harriet Roe; my days are one prolonged burning
agony of repentance. Repentance that brings no relief."
"My goodness!" cried Harriet, her breath almost scared away at hearing
this, careless-natured though she was. "I'll tell you what, Maria: I
should turn Roman Catholic in your place; and let a priest absolve me
from the sin."
A priest absolve her from the sin! The strange anguish on her compressed
lips was visible as Maria Lease turned her face upwards in the
starlight. ONE Most High and merciful Priest was ever there, who could,
and would, wash out her sin. But--what of Daniel Ferrar, who had died in
his?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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