England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Short stories, English
Bertie's wide-open eyes turned to look, and the doctor approached the
bed; but he halted for one imperceptible moment in his course. When Mr.
Tamlyn had said Bertie was dying, Arnold Knox had assumed it to mean,
not that he was actually dying at that present time, but that he would
not recover! But as he gazed at Bertie now in the bright light, he
saw something in the face that his experienced medical eye could not
mistake.
He took the wasted, fevered hand in his, and laid his soothing fingers
on the damp brow. Miss Tamlyn went away for a minute's respite from the
sick-room.
"Bertie, my boy!"
"Why didn't you come before, Arnold?" was the low, weak answer; and the
breath was laboured and the voice down nowhere. "I have wanted you. Aunt
Bessy would not write; and papa thought you would not care to come down
from London, just for me."
"But I would, Bertie--had I known you were as ill as this."
Bertie's hands were restless. The white quilt had knots in it as big as
peas, and he was picking at them. Dr. Knox sat down by the low bed.
"Do you think I am dying?" suddenly asked Bertie.
It took the doctor by surprise. One does not always know how to answer
such home questions.
"I'll tell you more about it when I've seen you by daylight, Bertie. Are
you in any pain?"
"Not a bit now: that's gone. But I'm weak, and I can't stir about
in bed, and--and--they all look at me so. This morning papa and
Shuttleworth brought in Dr. Green. Any way, you must know that I shall
not get to be as well as I used to be."
"What with one ailment and another, with care, and pain, and sorrow, and
wrong, it seems to me, Bertie, that very few of us are well for long
together. There's always something in this world: it is only when we go
to the next that we can hope for rest and peace."
Bertie lifted his restless hands and caught one of Dr. Knox's between
them. He had a yearning, imploring look that quite pained the doctor.
"I want you to forgive me, Arnold," he said, the tears running down.
"When I remember how wicked I was, my heart just faints with shame.
Calling all of you hideous names!--returning bitter words for kind ones.
When we are going to die the past comes back to us. Such a little while
it seems to have been now, Arnold! Why, if I had endured ten times as
much pain, it would be over now. You were all so gentle and patient with
me, and I never cared what trouble I gave, or what ill words I returned.
And now the time is gone! Arnold, I want you to forgive me."
"My dear boy, there's nothing to forgive. If you think there is, why
then I forgive you with all my heart."
"Will God ever forgive me, do you think?"
"Oh, my boy, yes," said the doctor, in a husky tone. "If we, poor
sinful mortals, can forgive one another, how much more readily will He
forgive--the good Father in heaven of us all!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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