Humorous stories; Love stories; Pau (France) -- Fiction
"Its unique ability," said Berry, "to produce the truth. The hotter
the furnace of argument, the harder the facts which eventually emerge.
That's why I never spare myself. I don't pretend it's easy, but then
I'm like that. Somebody offers you a drink. The easiest way is to
refuse. But I don't. I always ask myself whether my health demands
it."
There was an outraged silence.
Then--
"I have noticed," I observed, "that upon such occasions your brain
works very fast. Also that you invariably choose the--er--harder path."
"Nothing is easier," said Berry, "than to deride infirmity." Having
compassed the Place Royale, we returned to the Boulevard. "And now, if
you've quite finished maundering over the beauties of a landscape which
you can't see, supposing we focussed on the object with which we set
out. I've thought out a new step, I want to show you. It's called
'The Slip Stitch.' Every third beat you stagger and cross your legs
above the knee. That shows you've been twice to the Crusades. Then
you purl two and cast four off. If you're still together, you get up
and repeat to the end of the row knitways, decreasing once at every
turn. Then you cast off very loosely."
Happily the speaker was in the other car, so we broke away and fled up
the Rue du Lycée....
The dancing-room was crowded. Every English visitor seemed to be
there, but they were not all dancing, and the floor was just pleasantly
full.
As we came in, I touched Adèle on the arm.
"Will you dance with me, lass?"
I was not one moment too soon.
As I spoke, two gallants arrived to lodge their claims.
"I've accepted my husband," said Adèle, smiling.
She had to promise the next and the one after.
Whilst we were dancing, she promised the fourth and the fifth.
"I can see," said I, "that I'm in for my usual evening. Of course,
we're too highly civilised. I feed you, I lodge you, I clothe you"--I
held her off and looked at her--"yes, with outstanding success. You've
a glorious colour, your eyes are like stars, and your frock is a
marvel. In fact, you're almost too good to be true. From your
wonderful, sweet-smelling hair to the soles of your little pink feet,
you're an exquisite production. Whoever did see such a mouth? I
suppose you know I married you for your mouth? And your throat?
And--but I digress. As I was saying, all this is due to me. If I fed
you exclusively on farinaceous food, you'd look pale. If I locked you
out of nights, you'd look tired. If I didn't clothe you, you'd
look--well, you wouldn't be here, would you? I mean, I know we move
pretty fast nowadays, but certain conventions are still observed. Very
well, then. I am responsible for your glory. I bring you here, and
everybody in the room dances with you, except myself. To complete the
comedy, I have only to remind you that I love dancing, and that you are
the best dancer in the room. I ask you."
"That's just what you don't do," said Adèle, with a maddening smile.
"If you did...."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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