The milksop iz a human being who has not the stamina ov a man, nor the weakness ov a woman. He iz a hibrid ov the nuter gender, without karakter enuff to make him respekted, or dispized. These kind ov pholks are innosent enuff if they are well watched, but they need az mutch watching az a blind baby duz. They occupy quarters about haff way between a phool, and an ideot. If milksops would only keep still but few would suspekt them, but how strange it iz, that the thinner a man iz, the more anxious he iz to get into a strong light. _THE MIZER._ The mizer digs hiz heart out hollow to stow away hiz munny in. He akumulates bi littles, and never opens hiz harte, only on a krak, to let another shilling in. An old mizer iz a sad sight enuff, but next to an ideot, a yung mizer iz the most revolting thing on earth. Mizers enjoy what they dont use, looze what they save, and die possessed ov the only treasure that iz ov no use to them. The most terrible sarkasm iz a mizers phuneral, the heir often makes it gorgeous, and expensiv, and then pitches hedlong into the pile the old phool haz left. _CHALK MARKS._ Advice iz generally like the bred and cheese we giv to beggars, thrown over into the fust vacant lot they cum to. * * * * * Bigots, enthusiasts, and clothes pins, all hav the same sized heds on them. 31 Days. AUGUST. 1877. Q.--Pleze to define buty? @ @ @ A.--Buty iz a blank catridge. @ @ @ [Illustration] _Short haired, and nervous az a ghost, Answering to_"Bill," _or_ "Ned" _or_ "Fan," _Death on rats, and sirloin steak, Behold the sparkling, Black and Tan._