_Milk Puntch_ iz a fluid that i do luv extrornary well, and aint ashamed to oun it. But whether it iz the milk in it, or the puntch in it, that suits me so well, i aint obliged to tell. Human natur iz weak yu kno, and needs a little puntching up, in a hot day. _N._ _Nonsense_ iz one ov mi prinsipal weaknesses, i luv it in any shape, but az quails on toast improve the quails, and dont hurt the toast, so i prefer to hav mi nonsense bilt on sense. Good nonsense iz one ov the rarest artikles in the literary bazaar, and allwuss commands admirashun, and fetches a good price. _SQUIBS._ Human beings are natral slovens, yu hav got to hold a yung one tight to wash hiz face the fust time, and to comb hiz hair, yu hav acktually got to run him down. * * * * * The man who haint never bin cheated, dont kno so mutch az he will sum day before long perhaps. 31 Days. MARCH. 1878. [Illustration] _Then he iz harnesst, and broke, A hard task indeed, And, handled quite gently, To draw out his speed._ +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _Brevitys._ | _BAGATELLES._ | +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ | 1| F || @ Windy :- now |An illustrious pedigree iz a | | 2| S || hunt for @ maple |risky possesshun, the world wont | | 3| G ||sugar @ :- mutch @ |kompare you with yure peers, nor | | 4| M || @ wind @ Jabez x |with yureself, but are all the time | | 5| T || Brown @ run @ |striking a ballance between you, | | 6| W || away @ 1840:- it |and yure ded grandfather | | 7| T ||@ rains -: Jabez @ | | | 8| F || @ run @ away | * * * * * | | 9| S || with (@) Suzan @ | | |10| G || @ Fletcter + now |A _ded beat_ iz a natural born | |11| M || > the frog @ |hipokrit, he haz kapasity enuff to | |12| T || @ ! yells ! @ |make him respektable, but the | |13| W || @ windy @ some @ |devil holds a fust mortgage on | |14| T || haste @ makes @ |it. | |15| F ||@ waste ( ! ) rain | | |16| S || @ and @ wind | * * * * * | |17| G || @ now = fri @ | | |18| M || nutcakes @ sum * |A careless man in a family iz | |19| T || @ more @ wind = |simply a noosance, but a sluttish | |20| W ||† Joel † Sprauge † |woman iz wuss than a blister. | |21| T || @ marrid 1400 > | | |22| F || wind @ nor west @ | * * * * * | |23| S || now @ murder @ | |