+--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ |@ | @ || _Kalkulashuns._ | _PICKLED TONGUE._ | +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ | 1| M || @ @ _Hot_ @ @ | | | 2| T || now lay in straw- | I look upon the north pole az | | 3| W || berrys and kream @ | one ov them pekuliar spots ov | | 4| T || @ _wind south_ @ | ground: if it aint never found, we | | 5| F || @ Frank Stebbins | shant be none ov the wuss off; | | 6| S || waz born this | and if it iz found, we shant be | | 7| G || month @ @ | none the better off. | | 8| M || @ _more heaty_ @ | | | 9| T || @ Frank Stebbins | | |10| W || waz a hoss-jockey | * * * * * | |11| T || @ _now expekt_ | | |12| F || _wet showers_ @ @ | I kant see what woman wants | |13| S || @ Frank Stebbins | enny more "_Rights_" for; she | |14| G || had a lemon- | beat the fust man born into the | |15| M || colored mare @ | world out ov a ded sure thing, | |16| T || | and she kan beat the last one | |17| W || @ _hot, but wet_ @ | with the same kards. | |18| T || @ this mare could | | |19| F || trot suddenly @ | | |20| S || @ _grate heatness_ | * * * * * | |21| G || @ Abel waz a | | |22| M || bachelor @ @ | | |23| T || @ _inkreasing_ | The only thing which makes a | |24| W || _warmth_ @ | mule so highly respektabel is the | |25| T || @ now hunt | grate accuracy ov hiz kickings. | |26| F || for | | |27| S || thunder | | |28| G || and | * * * * * | |29| M || lightning @ @ | | |30| T || @ hale columbus | Convince a phool ov hiz errors, | |31| W || happee land @ | and you make him yure enemy. | +--+---++------------------------+-------------------------------------+ _HOROSKOPE FOR AUGUST._ The gentleman born this month will hav one eye to the main chance, and the other eye on the collatterals. He will be sharper than good cider vinegar, and will go at a transackshun like a skotch tarrier at a rat hole. He will be az honest az a hornet, and make az few blunders. He will liv tew be old. Hiz wife will die young--tired out trying tew keep up with him. * * * * *