We pay, aul the way up hill, from 10 cents tew one dollar for contribushuns, ackording tew heft. Aul settlements made promptly at the end ov the next ensuing year. Poetry and prose pieces respectively serlicited. The highest market price paid for awful railrode smashes, and elopements with another man's wife. No swareing aloud in our paper. Yure article on "frogs" is received. It made me laff like lightning. LX. JOSH CHAWS HIS CUD. Earthli glory is sum like potatoze on very ritch sile,--top plenty,--tater skase. * * * * * It aint so much trouble tew _git_ ritch, as it is tew tell when we hav _got_ ritch. * * * * * The most bitter sarkasm sleeps in silent words. * * * * * It is unkommon hard tew annihilate a man with words,--altho it is often undertook. * * * * * Hope is evryboddy's handmaid--she is a sli coquet and promises menny favors, but grants only a fu, and them are badly diskounted. * * * * * If yu want tew git at the circumference ov a man, examine him among men,--but if yu want tew get at his aktual diameter, meazure him at his fireside. * * * * * Thare is nothing so difficult tew hide as our follys. * * * * * Thare seems tew be 4 styles ov mind,-- 1st, them who know it _iz_ so! 2d, them who know it _aint_ so! 3d, them who split the diffrence, and guess at it! 4th, them who don't care a darn which way it is! * * * * * Thare is but few men who hav karackter enuff tew lead a life ov idleness. * * * * * True Love is spelt just the same in Choctaw, as it is in English. * * * * * Thoze who retire from the world on akount ov its sin and peskyness, must not forgit that they hav got tew keep kompany with a person who wants just as much watching as ennyboddy else. * * * * * Buty that don't make a woman vain makes her very butiful. * * * * * A puppy plays with evry pup he meets, but old dorgs hav but fu associates. * * * * * He who buys what he kant want, will ear long want what he kant buy. * * * * * It kosts a good deal tew be wise, but it don't kost ennything tew be happy. * * * * * Necessity begot Invenshun, Invenshun begot Convenience, Convenience begot Pleasure, Pleasure begot Luxury, Luxury begot Riot and Disease, Riot and Disease, between them, begot Poverty, and Poverty begot Necessity again,--this is the revolushun ov man, and is about aul he kan brag on.