Power either makes a man a tyrant, or a tool. * * * * * Thare is no such thing as flattery,--if commendashun is deserved, it is no flattery, but truth, and if commendashun is undeserved, it is not flattery, but slander. * * * * * "Man was kreated a little lower than the Angels,"--and it is lucky for the said Angels that he was. * * * * * "The luxury ov grief!"--this, i take it, means tew hav yure old unkle die, and leave yu $9000, and yu cry. * * * * * "Love lies bleeding!"--this is probably one ov the bludiest lies that ever was told. [Illustration: The artist here represents NEATNESS [when carried too far] as a Roman Warrior, armed with every symbol of house-cleaning apparatus, and waging war upon all unoffending people who are not willing to have their apartments thoroughly cleaned every day.--_See page 193._] LXI. MONOGRAFFS. THE NEAT PERSON. Neatness, in my opinyun, iz one ov the virtews. I hav alwus konsidered it twin sister to chastity. But while I almost worship neatness in folks, i hav seen them who did understand the bizzness so well az tew acktually make it fearful tew behold. I hav seen neatness that want satisfied in being a common-sized virtew, but had bekum an ungovernable pashun, enslaving its possesser, and making everyboddy uneazy who kum in kontackt with it. When a person finds it necessary to skour the nail heds in the cellar stairs evry day, and skrub oph the ducks' feet in hot water, it iz then that neatness haz bekum the tyrant of its viktim. I hav seen individuals who wouldn't let a tired fly light on the wall paper ov their spare room enny quicker than they would let a dog mix up the bread for them, and who would hunt a single cockroach up stairs and down until his leggs were wore oph clear up to his stummuk but what they would hav him. I kan't blame them for being a little lively with the cockroach, for i don't like cockroaches miself--espeshily in mi soup. Thare iz no persons in the world who work so hard and so eternally az the vicktims ov extatick neatness; but they don't seem tew do mutch after all, for they don't get a thing fairly cleaned to their mind before the other end ov it gits dirty, and they fall tew scrubbling it awl over agin. If you should shut one ov these people up in a hogshead, they would keep bizzy scouring all the time, and would clean a hole right thru the side ov the hogshed in less than 3 months. They will keep a whole house dirty the year round cleaning it, and the only peace the family can hav iz when mother iz either bileing soap or making dip kandles.