As a class, they are better judges of chicken pie than they are of human natur; their theorys are too much like a tredmill, and there is nothing in the world will ruin a child enny faster than tew bring them up by rule. Children want studdying as much as the weather dus during planting time, tew know when and what tew plant. One child may be as easy tew raise as pertatoes, and the next one as difficult as wild oats. I have raised two miself, and consider them a fair average, and the only string I fiddled on was their good sense, and the more sense a child has got the less fiddling is necessary. If a young one haint got enny sense, they won't pay for raising ennyhow. If a child has got plenty ov sense, they are apt tew hav pride, and a child that has got sense and pride, is just as easy tew raise as a hopvine; aul you want to dew is tew stick up a decent pole for them, and then stand one side and look on, and jerusalem! how the critters will climb. LXXI. AULMINAK FOR 1869. MARCH. March begins on Saturday, and hangs on for 31 days. _Saturday, 1st._--Sum wind; look out for squalls, and pack peddlers; munny iz tight, so are briks. Ben Jonson had his boots tapped 1574; eggs a dollar a piece, hens on a strike; mercury 45 degrees above zero; snow, mixed with wind. _Sunday, 2nd._--Horace Greeley preaches in Grace church; text, "the gentleman in black," wind north-west, with simptoms of dust; hen strike continues; the ringleaders are finally arrested and sent to pot; eggs eazier. _Monday, 3rd._--Big wind; omnibus, with 17 passengers inside, blown over in Broadway; sow lettuce, and sow on buttons; about these days look out for wind; Augustus Ceazer sighns the tempranse pledge 1286; strong simptoms ov spring; blue birds and organ grinders make their appearance; sun sets in wind. _Tuesday, 4th._--Augustus Ceazer breaks the pledge 1286; "put not your trust in kings, and princes;" much wind with rain; a whole lot ov naughty children destroyed in Mercer street by wind; several gusts ov wind; buckwheat slapjacks invented 1745; Andy Johnson commits suicide; grate failure in Wall street; the Bulls fail tew inflate Erie; windy. _Wensday, 5th._--A good day tew set a hen; mutch wind: "he that spareth the child, hateth the rod;" wind raises awnings, and hoop skirts; William Seward resigns in favor ov Fernando Would; Thad Stevens jines the mormons. _Thursday, 6th._--Wind generally, accompanied with wind from the east; the Black Crook still rages; more wind; whisky hots still in favor ov the seller; sow peas, and punkin pies, for arly sass; babes in the woods born 1600; wind threatens. _Friday, 7th._--Fred Douglass nominated for president by the demokrats; black clouds in the west; wind brewing; grate scare in Nassau street; a man runs over a horce; Docktors Pug and Bug in immediate attendance; horce not expekted tew live. Rain and snow and wind and mud, about equally mixt.