Josh Billings on Ice, and Other ThingsBillings, Josh
General
Josh Billings on Ice, and Other Things
Billings, Josh
American wit and humor
If a man kant hav but one, he better hav the wisdum, for wisdum iz
alwus fatt with good sense, and kan alwus uze its strength; while
learning must hav just sich a spot tew work in, and jist sich a way tew
do it.
Wisdum iz a giant, whoze strength makes him respekted, while learning
iz a pigmy, whoze knowledge makes him feared.
But, Jeremiah, thare kan be a good deal sed for both ov them.
Wisdum grows stout by thinking, and learning gits fat by studdy.
Wisdum iz ov the natur ov genius, while learning iz ov the natur ov
tallent.
But, Jeremiah, these subjects are too full ov logick for you and me tew
phool with. We had better spend our loose moments in finding out the
best way tew raize beans, and the best market tew take them to.
P.S.--I forgot to say that thare iz four hundred times az mutch
learning in the world as thare iz wisdum.
And also, a man may hav a grate deal ov learning, and not know mutch,
just as he may have a grate deal ov strength, and not know the best
holts.
LXXVII.
JAW BONES.
Genius iz like a hop vine; it will run, and spread, enny how, and hav a
whole lot ov wild hops on it, but tew be a good krop, it must be poled,
and cut back, and suckered.
_Precept_ iz a buck saw--_experience_ the elbo grease that runs the
cussid instrument.
Don't talk tew much, Jessie; one half the wisdum ov this world consists
in not saying ennything.
Thare iz nothing more dangerous tew most men than praize; it iz like
filling them up with gunpowder, and then tutching them oph.
Patience, if it iz merely constitushional, don't appear tew me to be
enny more ov a virtue than kold feet are.
LXXVIII.
MORE PHILOSOPHY.
THE SUSPICIOUS MAN.
Suspicion, a little ov it, iz almost az good az wisdum, but it iz one
ov them kind ov disseazes that men aint apt tew hav small. It iz like
the meazles--if they have it they hav it aul over.
A suspicious man iz most alwus a cunning man; and a cunning man iz
generally a rogue.
What the happiness ov a suspicious man consists in i never could tell.
It certainly aint in friendship, for he iz afraid tew trust hiz own
brother; it kant be in conversashun, for he beleaves evry man lies; nor
in affection, for he looks upon the artlessness, even ov children, as
the germs ov fraud.
If a man iz born with this trait, it iz alwus the stoughtest one he haz
got, and about the only one; for suspicions iz like sheep sorrell, a
vinegary weed, that runs evry generous plant out ov the soil.
If a man learns tew be suspicious, it only proves that he haz been tew
bad schools, where not mutch of ennything else waz taught.
Noboddy but a phool would lay aside all kaution and undertake tew go
thru this world without enny linch-pin; but noboddy but a rogue would
learn enny more suspicion than he was aktually obliged to.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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