Notwithstanding the bodily pain I have suffered, I have so far
controlled it as to visit Mrs. Marvel's house during the last three
days, and to sit with the young people as if nothing ailed me. I am
beset with doubt. I know not what to think. I have watched every look,
every movement; and I am afraid that my anxiety has caused me to be
uncivil and abrupt. I do not think that any one but Mrs. Marvel has
noticed my anxiety or any change in me; but I have observed her
sometimes look at me questioningly, as if wondering at my changed
manner.
That Minnie has an affection for Joshua is certain: she strives to
prevent it being observed, and I think no one suspects her. If there
is any secret understanding between her and Joshua, I have not
discovered it. He treats her kindly and affectionately, but he is
chiefly attentive to Ellen. But still the letter says that he avails
himself of "every secret opportunity" to see her. If that be true, it
is not likely that he would betray himself in the presence of his
friends. I must act upon the results of my observation. I must
endeavor to keep Minnie from visiting Mrs. Marvel's house so
frequently; it may prevent her feelings from ripening into love. In a
few weeks Joshua will be away, and then all danger will be over for a
time. I am, indeed, loath to believe any wrong of him; he seems to
have preserved the simplicity of character and the goodness of heart
for which I used to admire him.
I am glad I commenced this record; for my thoughts are often very
confused, and my memory is impaired.
Although my uneasiness increases with respect to Minnie, I have heard
good news: Joshua is engaged to be married to Ellen. Do I need any
other proof of Joshua's honesty? It would be monstrous if I did; and
yet I cannot regard him with the old feelings of affection, for Minnie
is unhappy, and he is the cause. One day I accuse myself of injustice
towards him; another day I almost hate him, and curse the circumstance
that made me and Minnie acquainted with him. Would to God that he were
gone! Every hour that he stops is an additional agony to me.
Minnie has been sullen and rebellious because I have sometimes
prevented her from going to Mrs. Marvel's house. She has not always
obeyed me. I must speak more firmly to her; "I must be cruel only to
be kind."
A day of agony. I have not been able to leave my room. Minnie was with
me all the morning: but before she came to me, I had received another
communication, in the same handwriting as the last. It contained but a
few words,--
"The friend who warned Mr. Basil Kindred before, warns him again.
Joshua Marvel is a smooth-tongued villain. In his character of a hero
he is playing false with two simple girls at on time."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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