For a long time no word was spoken by Ellen and Dan. Then Dan turned
and looked in Ellen's face. She met his gaze pityingly, almost
appealingly. He answered her with a sad smile, in which there was much
sweetness.
"You were the first to guess my love for Minnie," he said; "and only
to Jo did I ever confess it. But do not fret for me, my dear; she can
never be to me what I was daring enough to hope she would be one day.
My love for her is not less strong, but my hope is buried now."
She could say nothing but "Oh, my poor Dan! Oh, my poor Dan!"
"Nay, why?" he answered in his gentle voice; "what could I have
offered her? What right had I, a cripple, to entertain the hope? I
dared to hope that she, bright, strong, and full of healthful life,
would tie herself to a weak, sickly thing like me. I dared to hope
that she would love me. I fed my heart upon delusions; I can see it
now, But I can love her still--can believe in her still--shall have
faith in her purity as long as my heart shall beat, and after
that--ay, who knows?" He paused for a little while before he resumed:
"What you and I have in our thoughts, my dear, we must speak of; in
that lies our only consolation. And we must not shrink from it; for
our duty, no less than our love, demands it."
And yet she did shrink, fearing what was coming.
"What wonder that she should love Joshua?" continued Dan,
unflinchingly determined to look the truth in the face, and not to
spare himself; although as he spoke his quivering lips and tremulous
voice betrayed his agitation. "We who know how good and brave he is
are able to understand that she could not help loving him. But he--no,
he played no false part by her." He placed his hand upon the Bible,
and the action gave a deeper solemnity to the declaration. "Some
suspicion he may have entertained that her feelings towards him were
warmer than they ought to have been; and I well know the grief such
suspicion brought to him. But he could not mention it--he dared not
speak of it for Minnie's sake--for mine. I can trace a meaning now in
the last words he said to me. 'You do not doubt me, Dan?' he asked. I
answered, 'No, nor never could.' And then he said he should not have
asked, but that certain things had distressed him lately. Poor Jo!
Yes, he must have guessed Minnie's secret, and, knowing my love for
her, trembled lest I should turn against him. Turn against him! my
best, my dearest friend! When I do, it will be time for me to die.
Believe that I never wavered in my love or my truth, and that to the
last I held you in my heart as I hold you now, gentlest, dearest, best
of friends!"
Unconsciously he had uttered the very words which Joshua addressed to
him, and he spoke them as if Joshua were standing before him.
"As for what we have read to-night, we, and we alone, can rightly
understand it. He who wrote it in his agony knows now that Joshua's
heart is as pure as Minnie's honor."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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