The Disorder in my face continues, slow, uniform, & Steady; it does not hinder me from rest by night or from any exercise or business by day; But It keeps me in continual doubt, & anxiety, whether it be not something gathering which will be peculiarly distressful--But my temper, I fear, in these respects is very phlegmatic; I find it unpleasing to myself, & it would be certainly unpleasant to any one who was interested in my complaints--I am of so strange a constitution that very trifles make me utterly unhappy--A mere conceit, frivolous & unsubstantial often takes away my rest--This feeling I have possest from my infancy; I remember very well that a Cuff on my Ear would make me sullen for Several days when I was too young to go out to school; Afterwards a disappointment of an hours play would mak me disrelish for a long time both play-fellows, & all Diversion! When I was at the College one Blunder at recitation, or in any performance of my duty would make one [me] dull, low-Spiritted, & peevish; In fact any disappointment, even the most inconsiderable seems to have a general Effect on my Passions & mingle fear, & anger, & rage, together with many others which are excited by different & disagreeable modifications of our Bodies, &, tho' I am conscious of this frailty in myself, I have not yet brought myself under so good subjection, as to make these humours give way intirely to Philosophy or Religion--It is, however, my constant study how I may accomplish this much wish'd for habit--While we are dining there is a large shower of rain but by no means plentiful, for the earth is uncommonly dry--Mrs _Carter_ to day asked me if Mr Peck is to be here before my setting out: I answered that he is--And says she, is he grave as you?-- _Saturday 15._