Amidst this turmoil and interminable contention, a missionary with a family has much to try his faith, particularly in the early years of his missionary course, when he has no power in the language to take advantage of those opportunities which accidentally present themselves; for I am daily more and more convinced of the difficulty of speaking so as to be felt; at least in the first Eastern language one learns. The association of ideas, the images of illustration, are almost entirely different in many cases. The organs of pronunciation require a perfect new modelling, and perhaps not the least difficulty is to prevent one's heart from sinking at the little apparent progress made in understanding, and being understood, out of the common routine of daily life: the feeling will often arise, Surely I never shall learn. The difficulty is not, however, merely in words; you have to converse in the East generally with persons who have either no ideas on subjects of the deepest interest, or have attached some entirely different meaning to the terms you use to express those ideas; and which of the two occasions the most trouble, it is difficult to say. Notwithstanding, however, all difficulties, and all discouragements, and we seem now in the very centre of all, my soul was never more assured of the value of missionary labours among any people, it matters not whom, than now. There is, I am sure, what our blessed Lord declares, a _testimony_, in whatever measure we can proclaim his truth, or manifest his spirit, that is felt by those even who will not embrace it savingly. In reading Mrs. Judson's journal of the trials of the Burman mission, how deeply I now enter into them--how truly I can sympathize with them. It is wonderful how the Lord does sustain the heart when the time of trial comes. When I heard the struggle at the palace, last night, then saw it on fire, and heard the balls whizzing over our heads, and shortly after the screams of the poor Jews, whom they were plundering, a little way from the end of our street, my heart felt a repose in God that I cannot describe, and a peace that nothing but confidence in his loving care could give me, I feel assured. At times I feel so utterly useless, so devoid of every aptitude for the work in which I am engaged, that I wonder the Lord called me to it, yet the Lord may allow me to fill a place, though it be the lowest in missionary service. My greatest earthly treasure is the love of those who love the Lord, and in this I do feel rich, unworthy as I am of it. My heart longs for Christian communion; but such is the state of things here, that I feel almost as far from the prospect as when the first letter arrived from England, telling me so many were purposing to come. But what an inducement it is to patience to know, that all our trials and disappointments are the orderings of him who loved us, and gave himself for us.