feel, in every other respect so weak; it seems more like the physical
insensibility of one who is without a stake in what is passing. Oh,
may my dear Lord, in every earthly tie he breaks, bind my poor soul
doubly strong to himself for eternity, and to his service while here.
_Aug. 3._--Some of the principal Christian families sent to me to-day,
to request me to subscribe for guards to our quarter of the city, so
that every night we might have about 40 on guard. This I saw my way
clear in declining, believing that for Christ's servants the sword is
not a lawful defence; whatever it may be the Lord's holy will I
suffer, let it not be in acting against my convictions of his holy and
blessed will, for though I feel as a sheep in the midst of wolves, the
Lord does not allow my heart to be disturbed with any sense of
personal insecurity. How beautifully all our blessed Lord's precepts
hang together, and fit the one the other; if your consent to follow
him in his poverty as he has commanded, you have little to fear in
following his other commands of non-resistance: if you accept not the
first, you will not accept the second, except in such circumstances as
expose you to perhaps little comparative danger. May the Lord make me
willing, whatever it costs, to learn all his will, and give me grace
to love it. I have heard such instances to-day of hateful and
abominable oppression and wickedness against the poor Christians, by
the followers of those who have the name of rulers within the city,
that my heart aches, and my soul loathes the place. But what can we
expect, when these very persons robbed last night the house of Saleh
Beg, himself from whom they receive their pay.
A little butter and some sheep have been brought into the city; but
they ask so enormous a price, that they have not yet been bought.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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