_Aug. 25._ _Friday._--This day has taught me, that if I would not be
entirely miserable, I must give up my whole time, and soul, and
thoughts to my Lord; for if I look off him, I feel bordering on a
gulf, the depth of which I cannot fathom. Oh! may the Holy blessed
Spirit give me such views of the graciousness and exceeding riches of
my Lord, that I may really feel, that in having him, I have all
things. He alone is the same, yesterday, to-day, and for ever. All
created things, the nearest, the dearest, the most beloved in the
moment of greatest need and greatest felicity, elude the grasp, and
flee away; but he abides always. I desire, therefore, the Lord
enabling me, to give myself altogether to the preparation for my
future labours more diligently than I have ever yet done; that though
desolate on earth, I may hold the freest and sweetest communion with
heaven; for of all preparation I feel the greatest, the most needful
to be, that of the heart; in order to the constant sensible
entertainment of Christ, from whose nearness all the spiritual
faculties derive the sap and the fruit bearing strength.
_Aug. 28._--To-day I feel the Lord has given me a victory, by turning
my thoughts off my miserable self and temporary circumstances, to the
contemplation of the happiness of those who are gone before me, and
by enabling me to feel set off on my journey to meet them, and drawing
every day one day's journey nearer, while I endeavour to forget I had
ever been happy in domestic life, or ever possessed those dear
objects; but nature was often too strong for me, as I dwelt on their
felicity, and my journeying towards them daily, whether the Lord
brings them with him, or I go before he comes. This hope does comfort
me, for it is a real abiding truth, whether I drink the sweets of the
consolation from it or not. I therefore now purpose, the Lord enabling
me, after nearly six months interruption, to return to the studies
preparatory to my future duties as an itinerating missionary. To this
service I ever thought the Lord had called me, and for this I now see
all his trials have been fitting me, for I am without a home and
without a tie in the world, but my dear Lord's service. These trials
have made me ready for entering on my work to any extent; as my dear
little boys will no longer confine me to one place, but will soon be
of an age to move about with me; or should their choice render other
arrangements necessary, the Lord will open a way for them likewise.
For an itinerating missionary on this side the desert, three languages
are essentially important; Arabic, Turkish, and Persian: and this I
feel, unless the Lord very especially helps me, will be _to me_ no
ordinary labour; but, as I am surrounded by men who every day learn
them for purposes of gain, I trust the Lord will not allow me to
faint, or be discouraged till, for his own service I have attained
them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account