Upon this rough salutation he stopped, and with a taunting curl of the nose, replied. "You needn't kick before you're spurred. There an't nobody here nor han't been, nuther. I was just seeing how I could have fout." So saying, he pointed to his plow, which stood in the corner of the fence about fifty yards from the battle ground. Would any man in his senses believe that a rational being could make such a fool of himself? All that I had heard and seen was nothing more nor less than a rehearsal of a knock-down and drag-out fight in which the young man had played all the parts for his own amusement. I went to the ground from which he had risen, and there were the prints of his two thumbs plunged up to the balls in the mellow earth, and the ground around was broken up as if two stags had been fighting on it. As I resumed my journey, I laughed outright at this adventure, for it reminded me of Andrew Jackson's attack on the United States bank. He had magnified it into a monster and then began to swear and gouge until he thought he had the monster on his back, and when the fight was over and he got up to look for his enemy, he could find none anywhere. [Illustration] THE COUNTRY SQUIRE _Translated From The Spanish of_ THOMAS YRIARTE A country squire of greater wealth than wit (For fools are often blessed with fortune's smile), Had built a splendid house and furnished it In splendid style. "One thing is wanting," said a friend; "for though The rooms are fine, the furniture profuse, You lack a library, dear sir, for show, If not for use." "'Tis true, but zounds!" replied the squire with glee, "The lumber-room in yonder northern wing (I wonder I ne'er thought of it) will be The very thing. "I'll have it fitted up without delay With shelves and presses of the newest mode, And rarest wood, befitting every way A squire's abode. "And when the whole is ready, I'll dispatch My coachman--a most knowing fellow--down To buy me, by admeasurement, a batch Of books in town." But ere the library was half supplied With all its pomps of cabinet and shelf, The booby squire repented him, and cried Unto himself: "This room is much more roomy than I thought; Ten thousand volumes hardly would suffice To fill it, and would cost, however bought, A plaguey price. [Illustration: THE SQUIRE'S LIBRARY] "Now, as I only want them for their looks, It might, on second thoughts, be just as good, And cost me next to nothing, if the books Were made of wood. "It shall be so, I'll give the shaven deal A coat of paint--a colorable dress, To look like calf or vellum and conceal Its nakedness.