"I lead a weary life of hurry and interruption." "_November 18._ Weary hearts must, I think, be idle hearts, for it is cheery even to be overworked. My studies and experience have combined to show me the difficulty of moral attainment, but both have made me feel that with every average human being there is a certain possible conjunction of conviction, affection, and personality which, being effected, the individual will see the reality of the ethical aspects of life and the necessary following of happiness upon a good will and its strenuous prosecution. "I began Fichte's '_Wissenschaftslehre_' two or three days ago. "Gave a small party to Baron Osten Sacken.... Peaceably if we can, forcibly if we must, makes the difference between the beggar and the thief." "_November 26._ Very unwell; a good day's work, nevertheless." "_November 27._ Better. Last week was too fatiguing for a woman of my age. I cannot remember my forty-seven years, and run about too much. The oratorio should, I fear, be given up." "_December 8._ I came in from Lexington last night after the reading[64] in an open buggy with a strange driver, a boy of eighteen, who when we were well under way showed me a pistol,--a revolver, I think,--and said that he never travelled at night without one. As the boy's very face was unknown to me, the whole adventure seemed bizarre. He brought me home to my own house.... Am writing on 'Representation.'... Man asks nothing so much as to be helped to self-control." [64] At the Lexington Lyceum for the Monument Fund. "_December 9._ Heard J. F. C. as usual. 'She hath done what she could'--a good text for me at this moment. Independently of ambition, vanity, pride,--all of which prompt all of us, I feel that I must do what my hand finds to do, taking my dictation and my reward from sources quite above human will and approbation." "_December 19...._ Vicomte de Chabreuil came. We had a long, and to me splendid, conversation. Were I young this person would occupy my thoughts somewhat. Very intelligent, simple, and perfectly bred, also a _rosso_,--a rare feature in a Frenchman." "_December 27._ Let me live until to-morrow, and not be ridiculous! I have a dinner party and an evening party to-day and night, and knowing myself to be a fool for my pains, am fain to desire that others may not find it out and reproach me as they discover it. "Got hold of Fichte a little which rested my weary brain. "My party proved very pleasant and friendly."