Julia Ward Howe, 1819-1910Richards, Laura Elizabeth Howe
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Julia Ward Howe, 1819-1910
Richards, Laura Elizabeth Howe
Authors, American -- 19th century -- Biography; Feminists -- United States -- Biography; Howe, Julia Ward, 1819-1910
I was already in debt to you for one good letter when this later one
arrived, giving me the full, desired particulars of our dear one's last
days on earth. You and Annie both write as though the loss were heaviest
to me, and I only feel that I cannot feel it half enough. The pathos of
a life of such wonderful vicissitudes! I cannot half take it in. What
must he not have suffered in those lonely days of wandering and
privation, while I was comfortable in my household!... God knows, I had
every reason to love him, for he was heroically faithful to his
affection for me. Now, I feel how little I appreciated his devotion, and
how many chimeras, in my foolish wool-gathering head, crowded upon this
most precious affection, which was worthy of a much larger place in my
thoughts. His death is a severe loss to Maud and me.... We were always
hoping to rejoin him, and to pass some happy years with him. A great
object is withdrawn from our two lives. Nothing can take his place to
either of us.... As I write, the tears come. Like you, I long to sit
and talk it all over with the two who are all I have left of my own
generation. To our children, the event cannot be at all what it is to
us. They are made for the future, and our day is not theirs. I was
comforted, in your first letter, in reading of that pleasant, quiet talk
you had with him, when, among other things, you read to him the lovely
verses from St. John's Gospel, which have become a classic of
consolation among Christian people. I believe that he is in the heaven
accorded to those who have loved their fellow-men, for who ever coined
pure kindness into acts as he did? One of the lessons I learn from his
life is that it is very hard for us to judge rightly the merits and
demerits of others. Here was a man with many faults on the surface, and
a heart of pure gold beneath.... The thought of his lonely funeral and
solitary grave has wrung my heart at times, but sometimes I think of it
as a place where one might be glad to be at rest.... But now, dear, I
have had all the heart-break I can bear, writing this letter. Let me now
speak of the living and tell you where and how we are.... I left very
unwillingly to come down here, and try to get my poor wrecked place in
order. You know, of course, that the dam which was built to cut off my
water, and against which I obtained an injunction, burst this spring,
and destroyed my two ponds, my carriage, and a good part of my barn. I
have tried, in a lumbering way, to get justice, but have not yet
succeeded. I have had, too, a great deal of trouble in my presidency of
the Woman's Congress, this year. Almost as soon as I open my eyes in
the morning, these black dogs of worry spring upon me. I long to be
free from them....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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