But how to get the money? ah me! new temptations seemed springing up
around like the crop of armed men from the furrows sown with the
dragon's teeth.
There was but one way which suggested itself to his mind, by which he
would be able at once to deliver himself in part by meeting the most
exigent demands. Let me hurry over the struggle which it cost him, but
finally he adopted it. It was this.
Mr Kennedy was most liberal in allowing his son everything which could
possibly further his university studies, and the most important item in
his quarterly expenses was the charge for private tuition. This sum was
always paid by Kennedy himself, and it amounted at least to seven pounds
a term. Now, what if he should not only ask his father to allow him
this term a classical and a mathematical tutor, but also request
permission to read double with them both _i e_, to go for an hour _every
day_ instead of every other day? This would at once procure him from
his father the sum of twenty-eight pounds, and by means of this he
could, with great economy, clear off all the most pressing of those
pecuniary obligations which bound him to company, which he longed to
shun, and exposed him to dangers which he had learnt to fear. Of course
he would be obliged to forego all assistance from private tutors, and
simply to appropriate the money, without his father's knowledge, to
other ends. In a high point of view, it was simple embezzlement; it was
little better than a form of swindling. But in this gross and repulsive
shape, it never suggested itself to poor Kennedy's imagination. Somehow
one's own sins never look so bad in our eyes as the same sins when
committed by another. He argued that he would really be applying the
money as his father intended, viz, to such purposes as should most
advance the objects of his university career. He was committing a sin
to save himself from temptation.
The near approach of the scholarship examination, and Kennedy's failure
at Christmas, made his father all the more ready to give him every
possible advantage that money could procure. Ignorant of the fact that
to "read double" with a tutor was almost a thing unprecedented at
Camford, and that to do so, _both_ in classics and mathematics, was a
thing wholly unknown, and indeed practically impossible, Mr Kennedy was
only delighted at Edward's letter, as conveying a proof of his extreme
and laudable eagerness to recover lost ground, and do his best. He very
readily wrote the cheque for the sum required, and praised his son
liberally for these indications of effort. How those praises cut
Kennedy to the heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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