It was a short period of his life; but in no other period did he suffer
so much, or shake more fatally the foundations of all future happiness.
It was emphatically a sin against his own soul, and as such it affected
his very look. Those blue laughing eyes were clouded over, and the
bloom died away from his cheeks, and the ingenuous beauty from his
countenance, as the light of the Shechinah grew pale and dim in the
inmost sanctuary. Kennedy was not mastered by impulse, but driven by
despair.
Nor did he take any precaution to shield himself from punishment--the
punishment of outward circumstance and natural consequence--as his moral
abasement proceeded. His acquaintances shunned him, his friends dropped
away from him, and the guiltiness of the present received a tinge of
deeper horror from the gloom of the future.
All that could be done, Julian did. He warned, he expostulated, he
reminded of purer and happier--of pure and happy days. But he did not
know the bitter fountain of despondency whence flowed those naphthaline
streams of passion. At last he said--
"Kennedy, I have not often spoken to you of my dear sister; it is time
to speak of her now. Your conduct proves to me that you do not and
cannot love her."
Kennedy listened in silence; his face bowed down upon his hands. "You
_could_ not go on as you are doing if you loved her, for love allows no
meaner, no unhallowed fires to pollute her vestal flame. Your love must
be a pretence--a thing of the past. It was only possible, Kennedy, when
you were worthier than now you are."
He groaned deeply, but still said nothing.
"Kennedy," continued Julian, "I have loved you as a friend, as a
brother; I love you still most earnestly, and you must not be too much
pained at what I say; but I have come to a determination which I must
tell you, and by which I must abide. Your engagement with Violet must
cease."
"Does SHE say so?" he asked in a hollow voice.
"No, she does not know, Kennedy, what I know of you; but she will trust
my deep affection, and know that I act solely for her good. The blow
may almost kill her, but better that she should die than that her life
should be ever connected--oh, that you should have driven me to say it--
with one so stained as yours!"
"Aye!" said Kennedy bitterly, "stab hard, for the knife is in your hand.
Fling dust on those who are down already--it is the world's way. I see
through it all, Julian Home; you would gladly get rid of me, that Violet
may wear a coronet. No comparison between a penniless and ruined
undergraduate, and a handsome, rich young viscount."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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