Perhaps there is no greater want in this age than a full, fair,
_fearless_ religio clerici; the men who _could_ write it, dare not; and
the men who dare write it, cannot. They say the age is not ripe for it;
and if they mean that it would cause violent offence to the potent
rulers of fashionable religious dogmatism, they are right. But I wander
from my theme, and meddle with the subjects which this is not the place
to touch upon.
The close of Julian's undergraduate life was as honourable as its
promise had been. He obtained a brilliant first class, and was
bracketed with Owen as the best classic of his year. Lillyston also
distinguished himself, and all three determined to read for Fellowships,
which, before a year was over, they had the honour to obtain.
Meanwhile a circumstance had happened which changed the course of
Kennedy's intentions. After his conversation with Violet, he had often
thought of his plans for the future, and written to her about them.
Reconciled to the plan, of returning to Camford after the year of his
rustication, he was now trying to settle his future profession. His way
seemed by no means clear; he had never thought of being a clergyman, and
now, more than ever, deemed himself unfitted for such a life. The long
tedious delay of the bar to a man without any special interest; the
sickness of hope deferred during the prime years of life the weariness
of a distasteful study, and the heavy trial of dusky chambers in a city
to a man who loved the sea and the country with a passionate love,
deterred him from choosing the law. He had no liking for the army,
except in time of war; the life of the officers whom he knew was not
altogether to his mind, and he was neither inclined to gaiety nor fond
of an occupation which offered so many temptations to listlessness and
indolence. There was no immediate necessity to decide finally, because
in any case he meant to take his degree, and looked forward with some
hope, after his year of unswerving diligence in the retirement of Orton,
to honours in the Tripos and the pleasant aid of a Saint Werner's
Fellowship as the crown of his career. But on the whole, he began to
think that he might be both useful and successful as a physician. He
had a deep reverence for this earthly tabernacle of the immortal soul,
and a hallowed and reverend curiosity about that "harp of a thousand
strings," which, if it be untuned by sickness, mars every other melody
of life. Violet entered into all his views, and they determined to
leave the matter thus until Kennedy should have donned his B A gown.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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