It had been so with Julian Home, and in proportion to the true strength
and beauty of his character, was the poignancy of his bitterness when he
awoke the next morning, and calmly reviewed the few last excited,
prayerless, and unworthy days. Surely after so many proofs of weakness,
surely after emotions and acts so violently inadequate to the
circumstances which had caused them, his best friends must despise him
as utterly as he despised himself.
He arose that morning strong out of weakness. He determined that he
would be checked no longer by unavailing regrets, and that his
repentance should be open and manly, as his prostration had been
conspicuous. Fortified by the humiliating experience of his own want of
strength he sought for help in resolute determination and earnest
prayer. After breakfast, his first step was to call on Owen, and
congratulate him with hearty and unaffected simplicity on his success--a
success which Owen generously acknowledged to be due solely to Julian's
misfortune. It was much more difficult to call on Hazlet, but this,
too, Julian felt to be his duty; and distasteful as it was, he would not
shrink from performing it. Hazlet received him with a ludicrous air of
offended dignity, and was barely overcome into a tone of magnanimous
forgiveness by Julian's frank apology. On the whole, Julian decided
that it would be best not to call on Brogten, lest, by so doing, he
should seem to be reminding him of the consequences of his enmity under
the appearance of expressing a regret. It only remained therefore to
see Lillyston, and to this visit Julian looked with unmitigated joy.
"Forgive me, Hugh," he said, as he entered the room; "from this time
forward I shall owe you a new debt of gratitude; you have saved me from
I know not what disgrace."
Lillyston was delighted to see him look like his old self once more.
The thunder-cloud which had been hanging on his brow was dissipated, and
the sullen expression had wholly passed.
"Don't talk of debt, Julian," he said; "between friends, you know, there
are no obligations--they are merged in the friendship itself."
"I am amazed at my own intolerable folly, Hugh. I hope this is the last
time that I shall yield to such storms of passion. I have much to be
ashamed of."
"Well, Julian," said Lillyston, changing the subject, "you mustn't think
any more of this Clerkland, for potentially you got it, as everybody
acknowledges; _dynamei_ you were successful, if not _ezgo_."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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