And, realising her near presence, I felt a curious emotion rising
through me as from a secret spring. Its character, veiled by interest
and natural anticipation, remained without a name. I could not describe
it to myself even. Each time the thought of meeting her, that she was
close, each time the sound of her soft footfall overhead was audible,
this emotion rose in me pleasurably, yet with dread behind it somewhere
lurking. I caught it stirring; the stream of it went out to this
woman I had never seen with the certain aim of intuitive direction; I
surprised it in the act. But always something blocked it, hiding its
name away. It escaped analysis. And, never more than instantaneous,
passing the very moment it was born, it seemed to me that the opposing
force that blocked it thus had to do with the man who was my host
and my companion. It emanated from him--this objecting force. Julius
checked it; though not with deliberate consciousness--he prevented my
discovery of its nature. There was uncommon and mysterious sweetness in
it, a sweetness as of long mislaid romance that lifted the heart. Yet
it returned each time upon me, blank and unrewarded.
It was noticeable, moreover, that our talk avoided the main object
of my presence here. LeVallon talked freely of other things, of the
“Dog-Man,” of myself--I gave him a quick sketch of my life in the long
interval--of anything and everything but the purpose of my coming.
There was, doubtless, awkwardness on my side, since my instinct was
not to take my visit heavily, but to regard the fulfilment of my
old-time pledge as an adventure, even a fantasy, rather than the
serious acceptance of a grave “experiment.” His reluctance, yet, was
noticeable. He told me little or nothing of himself by way of exchange.
“To-morrow, when you are thoroughly rested from your journey,” he met
my least approach to the matter that occupied our deepest thoughts;
or--“later, when you’ve had a little time to get acclimatised. You must
let this place soak into you. Rest and sleep and take things easy;
there is no hurry--here.” Until I realised that he wished to establish
a natural sympathy between my being and the enchanted valley, to avoid
anything in the nature of surprise or shock which might disturb a
desired harmony, and that, in fact, the absence of his wife and his
silence about himself were both probably intentional. Conditions were
to flow in upon me of their own accord and naturally, thus reducing
possible hostility to a minimum. Before we rose to go to bed an hour
later this had become a conviction in me. It was all thought out
beforehand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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