A wind from the south, I remember, blew the firs behind us into low,
faint sighing, and with the exquisite sound there stole a mingled joy
and yearning on my soul. Perhaps some flower of memory in that moment
yielded up its once familiar perfume, dim, ancient, yet not entirely
forgotten. The sighing of the forest wafted it from other times and
other places. Wonder and beauty touched me; I knew longing, but a
longing so acutely poignant that it seemed not of this little earth
at all. A fragrance and power of other stars, I could have sworn,
lay in it. The pang of some long, long sweetness made me tremble. An
immense ideal rose and beckoned with that whispering wind among the
Jura pine woods, and a grandeur, remote but of ineffable sweetness,
stirred through the undergrowths of a half-claimed, half-recognised
consciousness within me.
I was aware of this incalculable emotion. Ancient yearnings seemed on
the verge of coaxing loved memories into the light of day. I burned,
I trembled, I suffered atrociously, yet with a rush of blind delight
never before realised by me on earth. Then, suddenly, and wholly
without warning, the desire for tears came over me in a flood....
Control _was_ possible, but left no margin over. Somehow I managed
it, so that no visible sign of this acute and extraordinary collapse
should appear. It seemed, for a moment, that the frame of my modern
personality was breaking down under the stress of new powers unleashed
by my meeting with these two in this enchanted valley. Almost, another
order of consciousness supervened ... then passed without being quite
accomplished.... I heard the singing of the trees in the low south wind
again. I saw the clouds sailing across the blue foreign sky. I saw
_his_ eyes upon me like twin flames. With the greatest difficulty I
found speech possible in that moment.
“I can promise, at least, that I will not be hostile. I can promise
that,” I said in a low and faltering tone.
He made no direct reply; least of all did it occur to him to thank
me. The storm that had shaken me had apparently not touched him. His
tone was quiet and normal as he continued speaking, though its depth
and power, with that steady drive of absolute conviction behind, could
never leave it quite an ordinary voice.
“She, as I told you, knows nothing in her surface mind,” I heard.
“Beyond occasional uprushes of memory that have come to her lately
in dreams--she tells them naïvely, confusedly in the morning
sometimes--she is aware of no more than a feeling of deep content, and
that our union is right in the sense of being inevitable. Her pleasure
that you have come is obvious. And more,” he added, “I do not wish the
older memories to break through yet, for that might wake pain or terror
in her and, therefore, unconscious opposition.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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