Meanwhile my intercourse with Nature now began to betray itself in
curious little ways, and none more revealing of this mingled joy and
nervousness than my growing excitement on being abroad after dark alone.
In the far more desolate Monzoni Valley a few weeks before I had passed
whole nights in the open without the least suspicion of uneasiness,
yet here, amid these friendly woods, covered by this homely, peaceful
valley, it was suddenly made clear to me that I had nerves. And the
reason, briefly put, was that there I knew myself alone, whereas here I
knew myself never alone.
This sense of a populated Nature grew. After dusk it fairly mastered
me, but even in broad daylight, when the September sunshine flooded
the whole trough of valley with warmth and brightness, there clung to
me the certainty that my moods and feelings, as my very footsteps,
too, were noted--and understood. This sense of moving Presences, as
in childhood, was stirred by every wind that blew. The feeling of
co-operation increased. It was conscious, intelligent co-operation.
“Over that limestone ridge against the sky,” I caught myself feeling,
rather than definitely thinking; “from just beyond the crests of those
tall pines, will presently come----” What? I knew not, even as the
child knows not. Only, it would come--appearing suddenly from the
woods, or clouds, or from behind the big boulders that strewed the open
spaces.
In the fields about the châlet this was manifest too, but especially
on the naked ridges above the forests and in the troughs that held the
sunlight. Where the wind had unobstructed motion, and where the heat
of the sun accumulated in the hollows, this sense of preparation, of
co-operation, chiefly touched me. There was behind it pressure--as of
purpose and direction, the idea that intelligence stirred within these
natural phenomena. Some type of elemental life, enormous yet generally
diffused through formlessness, moved and had its being behind natural
appearances.
More and more, too, I realised that “inanimate” Nature was a script
that it was possible to read; that certain objects, certain appearances
drew my attention because they had a definite meaning to convey,
whereas others remained unnoticed, as though not necessary to the
sentence of some message or communication. The Language of Happenings
that Julius talked about--the occurrences of daily life as words in
some deep cosmical teaching--connected itself somewhere with this
meaning that hid in common objects.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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