“If only I understood,” she went on, looking from his face to mine, “if
only I knew exactly. It was something,” she added almost to herself,
“that used to come to me when I was little--on the farm--and I put it
away because it made me”--she whispered the last two words below her
breath--“feel crazy----”
“Crazy?” repeated Julius, smiling down at her.
“Like a queen,” she finished proudly, yet still timid. “I couldn’t feel
that way and do my work.” And her long lashes lifted, so that the eyes
flashed at me across the table. “It made everything seem too easy.”
I cannot say what quality was in his voice, when, leading her gently
towards a wicker chair beside the fire, he spoke those strange words of
comfort. There seemed a resonant power in it that brought strength and
comfort in. She smiled as she listened, though it was not her brain his
language soothed. That other look began to steal upon her face as he
proceeded.
“_You!_” he said gently, “so wonderful a woman, and so poised with the
discipline these little nerves forget--you cannot yield to the fear
that loneliness and darkness bring to children.” She settled down into
the chair, gazing into his face as he settled the cushions for her
back. Her hands lay in her lap. She listened to every syllable, while
the expression of perplexity grew less marked. And the change upon her
features deepened as he continued: “There are moments when the soul
sees her own shadow, and is afraid. The Past comes up so close. But the
shadow and the fear will pass. We three are here. Beyond all chance
disaster, we stand together ... and to our real inner selves nothing
that is sad or terrible can ever happen.”
Again her eyes flashed their curious lightning at me as I watched; but
the sudden vague alarm was passing as mysteriously as it came. She
said no more about the wind and fire. The magic of his personality,
rather than the words which to her could only have seemed singular and
obscure, had touched the sources of her strength. Her face was pale,
her eyes still bright with an unwonted brilliance, but she was herself
again--I think she was no longer the “upper” self I knew as “Mrs.
LeVallon.” The marvellous change was slowly stealing over her.
“You’re cold and tired,” he said, bending above her. “Come closer to
the fire--with us all.”
I saw her shrink, for all the brave control she exercised. The word
“fire” came on her like a blow. “It’s not my body,” she answered;
“that’s neither cold nor tired. It’s another thing--behind it.” She
turned toward the window, where the curtain at that moment rose
and fell before a draught of air. “I keep getting the feeling that
something’s coming to-night for--one of us.” She said it half to
herself, and Julius made no answer. I saw her look back then at the
glowing fire of wood and peat. At the same moment she threw out both
hands first as if to keep the heat away, then as though to hold her
husband closer.
“Julius! If you went from me! If I lost you----!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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