Outside, the life of humanity rolled upon its accustomed way, recking
little of the trembling figure that stood on the top floor of this
silent building, one hand on the door upon whose further side so many
must one day come to final rest. For one hand already touched the
freezing knob, and I was in the act of turning it when another sound,
that was certainly not the murmur of the town, struck sharply through
the stillness and brought all movement in me to a sudden halt.
It came from within, I thought at first; and it was like a wave of
sighs that rose and fell, sweeping against the glass door a moment,
then passing away as abruptly as it came. Yet it was more like wind
than sighs through human lips, and immediately, then, I understood that
it _was_ wind. I caught my breath again with keen relief. Wind was
rising from the hills, and this was its first messenger running down
among the roofs and chimney-pots. I heard its wailing echoes long after
it had died away.
But a moment later it returned, louder and stronger than before,
and this time, hearing it so close, I know not what secret embassies
of wonder touched me from the night outside, deposited their
undecipherable messages, and were gone again. I can only say that the
key of my emotions changed, changed, moreover, with a swelling rush
as when the heavier stops are pulled out upon an organ-board. For, on
entering the building, the sky had been serenely calm, and keen frost
locked the currents of the air; whereas now that wind went wailing
round the walls as though it sought an entrance, almost as though its
crying voice veiled purpose. There seemed a note of menace, eager and
peremptory, in its sudden rush and drop. It knocked upon the stones
and upon the roof above my head with curious and repeated buffets of
sound that resembled the “clap” I had heard that October afternoon
among the larches, only a hundred times repeated and a hundred-fold
increased. The change in myself, moreover, was similar to the change
then experienced--the flow and drive of bigger consciousness that
helped to banish fear. I seemed to know about that wind, to feel its
life and being, indeed, to share it. No longer was I merely John Mason,
a student in Edinburgh, separate and distinct from all about me, but
was--I realised it amazingly--a bit of life in the universe, not
isolated even from the wind.
The beauty of the sensation did not last; it passed through me,
linked to that insistent roar; but the fact that I had felt it gave
me courage. The stops were instantly pushed in again ... and the same
minute the swing-door closed behind me with a sullen thud.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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