--"'Morrison buried this afternoon. Address me Charleston Hotel,
Charleston.' He put those despatches in his pocket and went into the
back room. He sat down by the table, and laid his head upon his arms.
His shoulders shook, I know he was crying, he was crying for his
brother. Oh, I will go down-stairs and tell him the whole; I will go
this moment." She rose.
On the stairs she met the judge. "Is she worse?" he asked, alarmed at
seeing her outside of the room.
"No; the same."
She found Paul in the lower hall. "Is she worse?" he said.
"No. How constantly you think of her!"
"Of course."
"Can I speak to you for a moment?" She led the way to the small back
room where he had sat with his head on his arms. "I want to tell you--"
she began. Then she stopped.
His face had a worn look, his eyes were dull--a dullness caused by
sorrow and the pressure of care. But to her, as he stood there, he was
supreme, her whole heart went out to him. "How I love him!" The feeling
swept over her like a flood, overwhelming everything else.
"What is it you wish to tell me?" Paul asked, seeing that she still
remained silent.
"How can I do it!--how can I do it!" she said to herself.
"Don't tell me, then, if it troubles you," he added, his voice taking
the kindly tones she dreaded.
Her courage vanished. "Another time," she said hurriedly, and, turning,
she left the room.
But as she went up the stairs she knew that there would be no other
time. "Never! never! I shall never tell him. What do I care for
truthfulness, or courage, compared with one word of his spoken in that
tone!"
XXIII.
MISS SABRINA'S first letters had been so full of grief that they had
been vague; to her there had been but the one fact: Ferdie was dead.
She had become much attached to him. There was nothing strange in this;
both as boy and as man, Ferdinand Morrison had been deeply loved by
many. The poor woman knew his fault (she thought it his only one), for
the judge had written an account of all that had happened, and the
reasons for Cicely's flight. Nevertheless she loved this prodigal as the
prodigal is often so dearly loved by the woman whose heart is pierced
the most deeply by his excesses--his mother. And Miss Sabrina, as
regarded her devotion, might indeed have been Ferdie's mother; something
in him roused the dormant maternal feeling--the maternal passion--which
existed in her heart unknown to herself. She did not comprehend what it
was that was disturbing her so much, and yet at the same time making her
so happy--she did not comprehend that it was stifled nature asserting
itself at this late day; the circumstances of her life had made her a
gentle, conciliatory old maid; she was not in the least aware that as a
mother she could have been a tigress in the defence of her sons. For she
was a woman who would have rejoiced in her sons; daughters would never
have been important to her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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