Partly it was reaction--relief that she should be so reasonable, so
complaisant--and a sort of holiday spirit after the day's hard work.
Oddly enough, and not so irrational as may appear, Sidney formed a
part of the evening's happiness--that she loved him; that, back in the
lecture-room, eyes and even mind on the lecturer, her heart was with
him.
So, with Sidney the basis of his happiness, he made the most of his
evening's freedom. He sang a little in his clear tenor--even, once when
they had slowed down at a crossing, bent over audaciously and kissed
Carlotta's hand in the full glare of a passing train.
“How reckless of you!”
“I like to be reckless,” he replied.
His boyishness annoyed Carlotta. She did not want the situation to get
out of hand. Moreover, what was so real for her was only too plainly a
lark for him. She began to doubt her power.
The hopelessness of her situation was dawning on her. Even when the
touch of her beside him and the solitude of the country roads got in
his blood, and he bent toward her, she found no encouragement in his
words:--“I am mad about you to-night.”
She took her courage in her hands:--“Then why give me up for some one
else?”
“That's--different.”
“Why is it different? I am a woman. I--I love you, Max. No one else will
ever care as I do.”
“You are in love with the Lamb!”
“That was a trick. I'm sorry, Max. I don't care for anyone else in the
world. If you let me go I'll want to die.”
Then, as he was silent:--
“If you'll marry me, I'll be true to you all my life. I swear it. There
will be nobody else, ever.”
The sense, if not the words, of what he had sworn to Sidney that Sunday
afternoon under the trees, on this very road! Swift shame overtook
him, that he should be here, that he had allowed Carlotta to remain in
ignorance of how things really stood between them.
“I'm sorry, Carlotta. It's impossible. I'm engaged to marry some one
else.”
“Sidney Page?”--almost a whisper.
“Yes.”
He was ashamed at the way she took the news. If she had stormed or wept,
he would have known what to do. But she sat still, not speaking.
“You must have expected it, sooner or later.”
Still she made no reply. He thought she might faint, and looked at her
anxiously. Her profile, indistinct beside him, looked white and drawn.
But Carlotta was not fainting. She was making a desperate plan. If their
escapade became known, it would end things between Sidney and him. She
was sure of that. She needed time to think it out. It must become known
without any apparent move on her part. If, for instance, she became ill,
and was away from the hospital all night, that might answer. The thing
would be investigated, and who knew--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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