marriage with God, with wife, with mankind. Like a tree that is rooted,
always growing and flowering away from its root, so is a vitally active
man. But let him take some false direction, and there is torture through
the whole organism, roots and all. The woman suffers blindly from the
man’s mistaken direction, and reacts blindly.
Now in this revolution stunt, and his insistence on “male” activity,
Somers had upturned the root flow, and Harriet was a devil to him--quite
rightly--for he knew that inside himself he was devilish. She tried to
keep her kindness and happiness. But no, it was false when the inner
connection was betrayed. So her silent rage accumulated, and it was no
good playing mental tricks of suppression with it. As for him, he was
forced to recognise the devil in his own belly. He just felt devilish.
While Harriet went about trying to be fair and happy, he realised that
it was awful for him to be there, as black inside as an ink-bottle;
however, he practised being nice. Theoretically he was grateful to her,
and all that. But nothing conjured away that bellyful of black
devilishness with which he was _enceinte_. He really felt like a woman
who is with child by a corrosive fiend. In his lower man, just girning
and demoniacal. No good pretending otherwise. No good playing tricks of
being nice. Seven thousand devils!
When he saw a motor-car parked in the waste lot next to Coo-ee, and saw
two women in twelve-guinea black coats and skirts hobbling across the
grass to the bungalow farther down, perhaps wanting to hire it: then the
devil came and sat black and naked in his eyes. They hobbled along the
uneven place so commonly, they looked so crassly common in spite of
their tailors’ bills, so _low_, in spite of their motor-car, that the
devil in him fairly lashed its tail like a cat. And yet, he knew, they
were probably just two nice, kindly women, as the world goes. And truly,
even the devil in him did not want to do them any _personal_ harm. If
they had fallen, or got into difficulty, he would have gone out at once
to help them all he could. And yet, at the sight of their backs in their
tailored “costumes” hobbling past the bushes, the devil in him lashed
its tail till he writhed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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