Rejected as unfit. One of the unfit. What did he care? The Cornish are
always horrified of any ailment or physical disablement. “What’s amiss
then?” they would ask. They would _say_ that you might as well be shot
outright as labelled unfit. But most of them tried hard to find
constitutional weaknesses in themselves, that would get them rejected
also, notwithstanding. And at the same time they felt they must be
horribly ashamed of their physical ignominy if they were _labelled_
unfit.
Somers did not care. Let them label me unfit, he said to himself. I know
my own body is fragile, in its way, but also it is very strong, and it’s
the only body that would carry my particular self. Let the fools peer at
it and put me down undeveloped chest and what they like, so long as they
leave me to my own way.
Then the kindly doctor’s exhortation that he should find some way for
himself of serving his country. He thought about that many times. But
always, as he came near to the fact of committing himself, he knew that
he simply could not commit himself to any service whatsoever. In no
shape or form could he serve the war, either indirectly or directly. Yet
it would have been so easy. He had quite enough influential friends in
London to put him into some job, even some quite congenial, literary
job, with a sufficient salary. They would be only too glad to do it,
for there in his remoteness, writing occasionally an essay that only
bothered them, he was a thorn in their flesh. And men and women with
sons, brothers, husbands away fighting, it was small pleasure for them
to read Mr Somers and his pronunciation. “This trench and machine
warfare is a blasphemy against life itself, a blasphemy which we are all
committing.” All very well, they said, but we are in for a war, and what
are we to do? We hate it as much as he does. But we can’t all sit safely
in Cornwall.
That was true too, and he knew it, and he felt the most a dreary misery,
knowing how many brave, generous men were being put through this
slaughter-machine of human devilishness. They were doing their best, and
there was nothing else to do. But even that was no reason why he should
go and do likewise.
If men had kept their souls firm and integral through the years, the war
would never have come on. If, in the beginning, there had been enough
strong, proud souls in England to concentrate the English feeling into
stern, fierce, honourable fighting, the war would never have gone as it
went. But England slopped and wobbled, and the tide of horror
accumulated.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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