So he discovered the great secret: to stand alone as his own judge of
himself, absolutely. He took his stand absolutely on his own judgment of
himself. Then, the mongrel-mouthed world would say and do what it liked.
This is the greatest secret of behaviour: to stand alone, and judge
oneself from the deeps of one’s own soul. And then, to know, to hear
what the others say and think: to refer their judgment to the touchstone
of one’s own soul-judgment. To fear one’s own inward soul, and never to
fear the outside world, nay, not even one single person, nor even fifty
million persons.
To learn to be afraid of nothing but one’s own deepest soul: but to keep
a sharp eye on the millions of the others. Somers would say to himself:
“There are fifty million people in Great Britain, and they would nearly
all be against me. Let them.”
So a period of quiet followed. Somers got no answers to his letters to
John Thomas: it was like the evening when he had been kept waiting. The
man was scared. It was an end.
And the authorities still would allow of no return to Cornwall. So let
that be an end too. He wrote for his books and household linen to be
sent up, the rest could be sold.
Bitter, in Oxfordshire, to unpack the things he had loved so dearly in
Cornwall. Life would never be quite the same again. Then let it be
otherwise. He hardened his heart and his soul.
It was a lovely spring: and here, in the heart of England--Shakespeare’s
England--there was a sweetness and a humanness that he had never known
before. The people were friendly and unsuspicious, though they knew all
about the trouble. The police too were delicate and kindly. It was a
human world once more, human and lovely: though the gangs of wood-men
were cutting down the trees, baring the beautiful spring woods, making
logs for trench-props.
And there was always the suspense of being once more called up for
military service. “But surely,” thought Somers, “if I am so vile they
will be glad to leave me alone.”
Spring passed on. Somers’ sisters were alone, their husbands at the war.
His younger sister took a cottage for him in their own bleak Derbyshire.
And so he returned, after six years, to his own country. A bitter
stranger too, he felt. It was northern, and the industrial spirit was
permeated through everything: the alien spirit of coal and iron. People
living for coal and iron, nothing else. What good was it all?
This time he would not go to the police-station to report. So one day a
police-inspector called. But he was a kindly man, and a little bitter
too. Strange that among the civil police, everyone that Somers met was
kindly and understanding. But the so-called, brand-new military, they
were insolent jackanapes, especially the stay-at-home military who had
all the authority in England.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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