The old buffer went on writing. Oh, yes, they intended to make him feel
they had got their knife into him. They would have his beard off, too!
But would they! He stood there with his ridiculous thin legs, in his
ridiculous jacket, but he did not feel a fool. Oh, God, no. The white
composure of his face, the slight lifting of his nose, like a dog’s
disgust, the heavy, unshakeable watchfulness of his eyes brought even
the judgment-table to silence: even the puppy doctors. It was not till
he was walking out of the room, with his jacket about his thin legs, and
his beard in front of him, that they lifted their heads for a final
jeer.
He dressed and waited for his card. It was Saturday morning, and he was
almost the last man to be examined. He wondered what instructions they
had had about him. Oh, foul dogs. But they were very close on him now,
very close. They were grinning very close behind him, like hyænas just
going to bite. Yes, they were running him to earth. They had exposed all
his nakedness to gibes. And they were pining, almost whimpering to give
the last grab at him, and haul him to earth, a victim. Finished!
But not yet! Oh, no, not yet. Not yet, not now, nor ever. Not while life
was life, should they lay hold of him. Never again. Never would he be
touched again. And because they had handled his private parts, and
looked into them, their eyes should burst and their hands should wither
and their hearts should rot. So he cursed them in his blood, with an
unremitting curse, as he waited.
They gave him his card: C 2. Fit for non-military service. He knew what
they would like to make him do. They would like to seize him and compel
him to empty latrines in some camp. They had that in mind for him. But
he had other things in mind.
He went out into accursed Derby, to Harriet. She was reassured again.
But he was not. He hated the Midlands now, he hated the North. They were
viler than the South, even than Cornwall. They had a universal desire to
take life and down it: these horrible machine people, these iron and
coal people. They wanted to set their foot absolutely on life, grind it
down, and be master. Masters, as they were of their foul machines.
Masters of life, as they were masters of steam-power and electric-power
and above all, of money-power. Masters of money-power, with an obscene
hatred of life, true spontaneous life.
Another flight. He was determined not to stop in the Derby Military
Area. He would move one stage out of their grip, at least. So he and
Harriet prepared to go back with their trunks to the Oxfordshire
cottage, which they loved. He would not report, nor give any sign of
himself. Fortunately in the village everybody was slack and friendly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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