Man is a thought-adventurer. Man is more, he is a life-adventurer. Which
means he is a thought-adventurer, an emotion-adventurer, and a
discoverer of himself and of the outer universe. A discoverer.
“I am a fool,” said Richard Lovat, which was the most frequent discovery
he made. It came, moreover, every time with a new shock of surprise and
chagrin. Every time he climbed a new mountain range and looked over, he
saw, not only a new world, but a big anticipatory fool on this side of
it, namely, himself.
Now a novel is supposed to be a mere record of emotion-adventures,
flounderings in feelings. We insist that a novel is, or should be, also
a thought-adventure, if it is to be anything at all complete.
“I am a fool,” thought Richard to himself, “to imagine that I can
flounder in a sympathetic universe like a fly in the ointment.” We think
of ourselves, we think of the ointment, but we do not consider the fly.
It fell into the ointment, crying: “Ah, here is a pure and balmy
element in which all is unalloyed goodness. Here is attar of roses
without a thorn.” Hence the fly in the ointment: embalmed in balm. And
our repugnance.
“I am a fool,” said Richard to himself, “to be floundering round in this
easy, cosy, all-so-friendly world. I feel like a fly in the ointment.
For heaven’s sake let me get out. I suffocate.”
Where to? If you’re going to get out you must have something to get out
on to. Stifling in unctuous sympathy of a harmless humanity.
“Oh,” cried the stifling R. “Where is my Rock of Ages?”
He knew well enough. It was where it always has been: in the middle of
him.
“Let me get back to my own self,” he panted, “hard and central in the
centre of myself. I am drowning in this merge of harmlessness, this
sympathetic humanity. Oh, for heaven’s sake let me crawl out of the
sympathetic smear, and get myself clean again.”
Back to his own centre--back--back. The inevitable recoil.
“Everything,” said R. to himself, in one of those endless conversations
with himself which were his chief delight, “everything is relative.”
And flop he went into the pot of spikenard.
“Not quite,” he gasped, as he crawled out. “Let me drag my isolate and
absolute individual self out of this mess.”
Which is the history of relativity in man. All is relative as we go flop
into the ointment: or the treacle or the flame. But as we crawl out, or
flutter out with a smell of burning, the _absolute_ holds us spellbound.
Oh to be isolate and absolute, and breathe clear.
So that even relativity is only relative. Relative to the absolute.
I am sorry to have to stand, a sorry sight, preening my wings on the
brink of the ointment-pot, thought Richard. But from this vantage ground
let me preach to myself. He preached, and the record was taken down for
this gramophone of a novel.
No, the self is absolute. It may be relative to everything else in the
universe. But to itself it is an absolute.
Back to the central self, the isolate, absolute self.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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