“White,” said Somers, oblivious of the poised Chinaman. “You have come to a homely country,” said the Kangaroo, without the ghost of a smile. “Certainly to a very hospitable one.” “We rarely lock our doors,” said Kangaroo. “Or anything else,” said Jack. “Though of course we may slay you in the scullery if you say a word against us.” “I’m not going to be so indiscreet,” said Somers. “Leave the indiscretion to us. We believe in it. Indiscretion is the better part of valour. You agree, Kangaroo?” said Jack, smiling over his plate directly at his host. “I don’t think I’d care to see you turn discreet, boy,” returned the other. “Though your quotation isn’t new.” “Even a crystal-gazer can’t gaze to the bottom of a deep well, eh? Never mind, I’m as shallow as a pie-dish, and proud of it. Red, please.” This to the Chink. “That’s why it’s so nice knowing you,” said Kangaroo. “And you, of course, are a glass finger-bowl with a violet floating on it, you’re so transparent,” said Jack. “I think that describes me beautifully. Mr Somers, help yourself to wine, that’s the most comfortable. I hope you are going to write something for us. Australia is waiting for her Homer--or her Theocritus.” “Or even her Ally Sloper,” said Jack, “if I may be permitted to be so old-fashioned.” “If I were but blind,” said Somers, “I might have a shot at Australian Homerics.” “His eyes hurt him still, with looking at Sydney,” said Jack. “There certainly is enough of it to look at,” said Kangaroo. “In acreage,” said Jack. “Pity it spreads over so much ground,” said Somers. “Oh, every man his little lot, and an extended tram-service.” “In Rome,” said Somers, “they piled up huge houses, vast, and stowed them away like grubs in a honeycomb.” “Who did the stowing?” asked Jack sarcastically. “We don’t like to have anybody overhead here,” said Kangaroo. “We don’t even care to go upstairs, because we are then one storey higher than our true, ground-floor selves.” “Prop us up on a dozen stumps, and we’re cosy,” said Jack. “Just a little above the earth level, and no higher, you know. Australians in their heart of hearts hate anything but a bungalow. They feel it’s rock bottom, don’t you see. None of your stair-climbing shams and upstairs importance.” “Good honest fellows,” said Kangaroo, and it was impossible to know if he were joking or not. “Till it comes to business,” said Jack. Kangaroo then started a discussion of the much-mooted and at the moment fashionable Theory of Relativity. “Of course it’s popular,” said Jack. “It absolutely takes the wind out of anybody’s sails who wants to say ‘I’m _It_.’ Even the Lord Almighty is only relatively so and as it were.” “How nice for us all,” laughed Somers. “It needed a Jew to lead us this last step in liberty.” “Now we’re all little _Its_, chirping like so many molecules one with another,” said Jack, eyeing the roast duck with a shrewd gaze.