London at the close of November! Can the force of human imagination
conceive anything half so gloomy and dispiriting? And certainly the
dreary weeks I spent there at this period have ever ranked first in
my remembrance of wretchedness: the damp, drizzling, foggy condition
of animate and inanimate nature--the deserted streets haunted by long
strings of decrepid placard bearers whose rheumatic forms seemed
bowed under the huge capitals setting forth Mons. Jullien's concerts
_d'hiver_, &c. My days were pretty equally divided between my lawyer
and army agent, varied by a good deal of letter writing, and a solitary
dinner at the desolate Club. Towards the middle of this purgatorial
period, the regiment I was soon to call mine no more got the route for
Canterbury; and Burton, like a trump as he was, came up to town to
hear a fuller account of my troubles than a letter could give, and to
see the most he could of me before I started to the land of military
promise. He was a true-hearted fellow, and the sincere, unpretending
interest with which he entered into my plans--I will not say hopes,
for God knows I felt little then--did me more real good, and drew me
more out of myself than the most elaborate efforts at consolation could
have effected. Finally, when just about to leave me one night after a
long talk over my affairs, and half out of the room, he observed, "You
know, old fellow, I have always been prudent, and if a few hundred
pounds would be of any use to you, I would be glad of a little higher
interest--they only pay two and a half at present--and the whole thing
might lie over until you get some prize money in India, when I will be
down on you inexorably for the compound interest, principal, and all.
Now do not stir, I know my way down; we will talk it over to-morrow."
He was away before I could say a word.
"Come," thought I, as I turned to the fire, "it is worth while to bear
the crosses of this world of ours, when it contains even one such
fellow as that to leaven the whole lump."
Yet not even to Burton could I bear to talk of the bitter struggle
it cost me to part with Kate Vernon as little more than a common
acquaintance. It was weakness in me to think of it, and (I am glad I
can record so much good of myself) it was a source of sincere rejoicing
to me when I reflected that Miss Vernon, at all events, could not
suffer from the painful regret I felt gnawing my troubled spirit.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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