The evening appeared very interminable to Kate; the boys were set to
their lessons immediately after tea, with an injunction from their
mother not to leave any for the morning, it made them so late at their
"breakfastses," and then mother and daughter in a species of duet
expatiated on the wonderful talents and acquirements of the eldest
son, until having exhausted their subject they commenced a severe cross
examination of herself, when a loud ring disturbed the enquiry, and
Mrs. Wilson started from her seat exclaiming "Law! how Wilson do ring."
Mr. Wilson was a short, thick man of even a more dingy, leaden-yellow
hue than his son; small piggish eyes, thick hearth-brush looking hair,
and a voice of unredeemed harshness, such as one might expect from a
slave driver, were his most striking characteristics. He was however
civil enough, made due enquiries after his brother-in-law, asked if
town was full, and the opera well attended, (oblivious in his anxiety
to put these fashionable queries, that it was September), and finally
betook himself to devour some chops, the bones of which he polished
with surprising dexterity, first however sending the boys to bed with
a sudden imperious sternness that absolutely startled Kate; she soon
pleaded fatigue and bid them good night. "We have prayers at half-past
eight, Miss Vernon," said Mrs. Wilson.
"Indeed, well I shall be ready."
The dreariness of those hours when Kate had extinguished her candle,
and in the darkness of night gave herself up to grief, we will not
attempt to describe--the exaggeration of distance between her and
all she had ever known--the agonised longing for some escape,--the
sense of utter estrangement from every familiar style of thought and
feeling--the inexpressible loathing of all around her; are not these
things written in the chronicles of many a memory? "Oh for a sound
of nurse's voice! she is so true, so loving, and Georgy, why are you
so far away. Will Mr. Winter never, never return! Is my life to pass
away thus with these terrible people. Oh grandpapa! I am so alone."
And ever with the thought of him Egerton's image rose before her; she
was too miserable to curb her thoughts as she was wont, and from the
silent depths of her heart, her spirit called to him agonisingly; with
unutterable longing, thirsting for a sound of his voice, as though it
were a spell to conjure away the gloom and the difficulties round her,
striving, panting in a death struggle fer happiness. Who dare limit the
power lent to the divine essence by the force of a mighty wish, when we
feel the intense longings of the imprisoned spirit darting in electric
streams towards the object so ardently desired. There are momentary
glimpses granted to the imagination, when purified by the agony of
suffering, of grandeur, power and liberty, so far beyond our mortal
state, that the first return to a commoner and calmer frame of mind, is
usually indicated by a shudder or a smile at our own "strange fancies."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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