Katherine Lauderdale; Vol. 2 of 2Crawford, F. Marion (Francis Marion)
General
Katherine Lauderdale; Vol. 2 of 2
Crawford, F. Marion (Francis Marion)
Families -- Fiction; Interpersonal relations -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Upper class -- Fiction
Katharine clasped her hands together, as she lay on her side, and prayed
fervently that she might die that day--at that very hour, if possible.
It would be so very easy for God to let her die, she thought, since she
was already so tired. Her heart had almost stopped beating, her hands
were cold, and she felt numb, and weary, and miserable. The step was so
short. She wondered whether it would hurt much if she took it herself,
without waiting. There were things which made one go to sleep--without
waking again. That must be very easy and quite, quite painless, she
thought. She felt dizzy, and she closed her eyes again.
How good it would be! All alone, in the old room, while the snow was
falling softly outside. She should not mind the snow-glare any more
then. It would not tire her eyes. That white smile--it came back to her
at last, and she felt it on her own face. It was very strange that she
should be smiling now--for she was so near crying--nearer than she
thought, indeed, for as the delicate lips parted with the slow, sighing
breath, the heavy lids--darkened as though they had been hurt--were
softly swelling a little, and then very suddenly and quickly two great
tears gathered and dropped and ran and lost themselves upon the pillow.
Ah, how peaceful it would be--never to wake again, when the little step
was passed! Perhaps, if she lay quite still, it would come. She had
heard strange stories of people in the East, who let themselves die when
they were weary. Surely, none of them had ever been as weary as she.
Strange--she was always so strong! Every one used to say, ‘as strong as
Katharine Lauderdale.’ If they could see her now!
She wanted to open her eyes, but the snow-glare must be still in the
room, and she could not bear it--and the shabby furniture. She would
breathe more slowly. It seemed as though with each quiet sigh the
lingering life might float away into that dear, peaceful beyond--where
there would be no snow-glare and the furniture would not be shabby--if
there were any furniture at all--beyond--or any John Ralston--no
‘marriage nor giving in marriage’--all alone in the old room--
Two more tears gathered, more slowly this time, though they dropped and
lost themselves just where the first had fallen, and then, somehow, it
all stopped, for what seemed like one blessed instant, and then there
came a loud knocking, with a strange, involved dream of carpenters and
boxes and a journey and being late for something, and more knocking, and
her mother’s voice calling to her through the door.
“Katharine, child! Wake up! Don’t forget that you’re to dine at the Van
De Waters’ at eight! It’s half past six now!”
It was quite dark, save for the flickering light thrown upon the ceiling
from the gas-lamp below. Katharine started up from her long sleep,
hardly realizing where she was.
“All right, mother--I’m awake!” she answered sleepily.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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