Katherine Lauderdale; Vol. 2 of 2Crawford, F. Marion (Francis Marion)
General
Katherine Lauderdale; Vol. 2 of 2
Crawford, F. Marion (Francis Marion)
Families -- Fiction; Interpersonal relations -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Upper class -- Fiction
out and drive cattle in the Nacimiento Valley if they wished to
understand the real properties of alcohol, and making the older ones
feel uncomfortable by reminding them vividly of the errors of their
youth. But no one else said anything in Ralston’s favour. He was down
just then, and it was as well to hit him when everybody was doing the
same thing.
Katharine tried to make up her mind as to what she should do, and she
did not find it an easy matter. It would be useless to deny the fact
that what she felt for Ralston on that morning bore little resemblance
to love. She remembered vaguely, and with wonder, how she had promised
to stand by him and help him to her utmost to overcome his weakness. How
was she to help him now? How could she play a part and conceal the
anger, the pain, the shame that boiled and burned in her? If he should
come to her, what should she say? She had promised that she would never
refer to the matter in any way, when it had seemed but the shadow of a
possibility. But it had turned into the reality so soon, and into such a
reality--far more repulsive than anything of which she had dreamed.
Besides, she added in her heart, it was unpardonable on that day of all
days. Married she was, but forgive she could not and would not. Wounded
love is less merciful than any hatred, and Katharine could not help
deepening the wound by recalling every circumstance of the previous
evening, from the moment when she had looked in vain for John’s face in
the crowded room, until she had broken down and asked Hester Crowdie to
bring her home.
She rose at last to face the day, undecided, worn out with fatigue, and
scared, had she been willing to admit the fact, by the possibilities of
the next twelve hours. Half dressed, she paused and sat down to think it
all over again--all she knew, for she had yet to learn the end of the
story.
She had been married just four and twenty hours. Yesterday, at that
very time, life had been before her, joyous, hopeful, merry. All that
was to be had glistened with gold and gleamed with silver, with the
silver of dreamland and the gold of hope, having love set as a jewel in
the midst. To-day the precious things were but dross and tinsel and
cheap glass. For it was all over, and there was no returning. Real life
was beginning, began, had begun--the reality of an existence not defined
except in the extent of its suffering, but desperately limited in the
possibilities of its happiness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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