"Oh, that the Everlasting had not fixed His canon 'gainst self-slaughter! Oh, God! Oh, God! How weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable Seem to me all the uses of this world." He got up suddenly and shook himself with fierce self-scorn. "God forgive me for these wild thoughts!" he cried. "No, I can not be such a coward! He is a coward who takes his own life because he can not bear its ills. I must remember that I have a dear little mother to live for, even though the hope of love and happiness be gone forever." But life was cruel. He longed to get away somewhere--far away from the place where everything breathed of _her_, his cruel, beautiful love, and he decided that as soon as he secured his divorce he would go abroad and seek forgetfulness in constant travel. Meanwhile, a sorrowful little note came to him from Alpine, praying him to forget her folly, or at least to keep it secret. "I should die of shame if I believed any one knew but you," she wrote. "But you are so good and great, you can forgive me. Perhaps things like that have happened to you before. I should not wonder. Then do not exclude me from your friendship, I pray you. Forget that one mad moment, and think kindly of me as you did before. "Your true friend, "ALPINE." With the letter was a little perfumed sheet on which were written some sweet, sad verses that touched his heart: "THE FAREWELL. "Ah, yes! I can bid you farewell and forever, No more will I think thy affection to claim, And hope for thy heart's love again will I never, Since now I have found that it lives but in name. "That dream of my life I too fondly have cherished, Till now I have bitterly wept o'er my woe; And hope from my bosom has withered and perished When made the cold blight of desertion to know. "My way is all dark as it spreads out before me, And gloomy and sad I must wander alone; Fain wishing for some fatal blast to sweep o'er me To still my heart's beating and silence its moan. "But far as I wander the wide world will dream not The wounds in my heart that I strive to conceal; And those who best know me and love me will dream not The deep crushing sorrow alone that I feel. "I can not forget thee; where'er I shall wander Thy image as bright shall abide with me yet; And though I may roam like the far-speeding condor, And though thou hast bid me, I can not forget. "Go thou and be happy; my last, fondest blessing Shall be upon him that I once loved so well; And though my heart break at the thought so distressing, Oh go and be happy! I bid thee farewell."