Americans -- Europe -- Fiction; Cape Cod (Mass.) -- Fiction
I did not speak. I could not, for the moment. She spoke first.
“You!” she exclaimed. “You--here!”
And still I did not speak. Where was the calm with which I was to meet
her? Where were the carefully planned sentences which were to explain
how I had come and why? I don't know where they were; I seemed to
know only that she was there, that I was alone with her as I had never
thought or meant to be again, and that if I spoke I should say things
far different from those I had intended.
She was recovering from her surprise. She came toward me.
“What are you doing here?” she asked. “Why did you come?”
I stammered a word or two, some incoherences to the effect that I had
not expected to find her there, that I had been told she was at church.
She shook her head, impatiently.
“I mean why did you come here--to Leatherhead?” she asked. “Why did you
come? Did you know--”
I interrupted her. If ever I was to explain, or attempt to explain, I
realized that it must be at that moment. She might listen to me then,
before she had had time to think. Later I knew she would not.
“I knew you were here,” I broke in, quickly. “I--we--your aunt knew and
we came.”
“But HOW did you know? Who told you?”
“The--we learned,” I answered. “And we came.”
It was a poor explanation--or none at all. She seemed to think it so.
And yet she seemed more hurt than offended.
“You came--yes,” she said. “And you knew that I left Paris because--Oh,
you knew that! I asked you not to follow me. You promised you would
not.”
I was ashamed, thoroughly ashamed and disgusted with myself for yielding
to Hephzy's entreaties.
“No, no,” I protested, “I did not promise. I did not promise, Frances.”
“But you know I did not wish you to do it. I did not wish you to follow
me to Paris, but you did it. I told you you would force me to give up my
only means of earning money. You did force me to give it up. I gave it
up to please you, for your sake, and now--”
“Did you?” I cried, eagerly. “Did you give it up for my sake, Frances?
Did you?”
“You know I did. You must know it. And now that I have done it, now that
I have given up my opportunity and my--my self-respect and my one chance
and come here to this--to this place, you--you--Oh, how could you!
Wasn't I unhappy enough before? And unhappy enough now? Oh, how could
you!”
I was more ashamed than ever. I tried desperately to justify my action.
“But that was it,” I persisted. “Don't you see? It was your happiness,
the thought that you were unhappy which brought me here. I know--you
told your aunt how unhappy you had been when you were with these people
before. I know how much you disliked them. That was why I came. To ask
you to give this up as you did the other. To come with us and BE happy.
I want you to come, Frances. Think! Think how much I must want you.”
And, for the moment I thought this appeal had some effect. It seemed to
me that her resolution was shaken, that she was wavering.
“You--you really want me?” she repeated.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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