Americans -- Europe -- Fiction; Cape Cod (Mass.) -- Fiction
The first two weeks of our stay in London came to an end. Our plans were
still as indefinite as ever. How long we should stay, where we should go
next, what we should do when we decided where that “next” was to be--all
these questions we had not considered at all. I, for my part, was
curiously uninterested in the future. I was enjoying myself in an idle,
irresponsible way, and I could not seem to concentrate my thoughts upon
a definite course of action. If I did permit myself to think I found my
thoughts straying to my work and there they faced the same impassable
wall. I felt no inclination to write; I was just as certain as ever that
I should never write again. Thinking along this line only brought back
the old feeling of despondency. So I refused to think and, taking Jim's
advice, put work and responsibility from my mind. We would remain in
London as long as we were contented there. When the spirit moved we
would move with it--somewhere--either about England or to the Continent.
I did not know which and I did not care; I did not seem to care much
about anything.
Hephzy was perfectly happy. London to her was as wonderful as ever. She
never tired of sight-seeing, and on occasions when I felt disinclined
to leave the hotel she went out alone, shopping or wandering about the
streets.
She scarcely mentioned “Little Frank” and I took care not to remind her
of that mythical youth. I had expected her to see him on every street
corner, to be brought face to face with unsuspecting young Englishmen
and made to ask ridiculous questions which might lead to our being taken
in charge as a pair of demented foreigners. But my forebodings were not
realized. London was so huge and the crowds so great that even Hephzy's
courage faltered. To select Little Frank from the multitude was a task
too great, even for her, I imagine. At any rate, she did not make the
attempt, and the belief that we were “sent” upon our pilgrimage for that
express purpose she had not expressed since our evening on the train.
The third week passed. I was growing tired of trotting about. Not tired
of London in particular. The gray, dingy, historic, wonderful old city
was still fascinating. It is hard to conceive of an intelligent person's
ever growing weary of the narrow streets with the familiar names--Fleet
Street, Fetter Lane, Pudding Lane and all the rest--names as familiar
to a reader of history or English fiction as that of his own town. To
wander into an unknown street and to learn that it is Shoreditch, or to
look up at an ancient building and discover it to be the Charterhouse,
were ever fresh miracles to me, as I am sure they must be to every
book-loving American. No, I was not tired of London. Had I come there
under other circumstances I should have been as happy and content
as Hephzy herself. But, now that the novelty was wearing off, I was
beginning to think again, to think of myself--the very thing I had
determined, and still meant, not to do.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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