Domestic fiction; England -- Fiction; England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Married people -- Fiction
He went out into Lincoln's Inn, and walked westward towards his Club,
hardly knowing in his confusion whither he was going. At first his
breast was hot with anger against Mr. Gray. The man had called him
wicked and cruel, and had known nothing of the circumstances. Could
it be wicked, could it be cruel for him to resent such treachery
as that of which he had been the victim? All his holiest hopes had
been used against him for the vilest purposes and with the most fell
effect! He at any rate had been ruined for ever. And the man had told
him about the world! What did he in his misery care for the world's
judgment? Cecilia had married him,--and in marrying him had torn his
heart asunder. This man had accused him of cruelty in leaving her.
But how could he have continued to live with her without hypocrisy?
Cruel indeed! What were her sufferings to his,--hers, who had
condescended to the level of Sir Francis Geraldine, and had
trafficked with such a one as that as to the affairs of their joint
happiness! To such a woman it was not given to suffer. Yes; she was
beautiful and she looked as a lady should look. Mr. Gray had been
right enough in that. But he had not known how looks may deceive, how
noble to the eye may be the face of a woman while her heart within is
ignoble, paltry, and mean. But as he went on with his walk by degrees
he came to forget Mr. Gray, and to think of the misery which was in
store for himself. And though at the moment he despised Mr. Gray, his
thoughts did occupy themselves exactly with those perils of which Mr.
Gray had spoken. The woman had trusted herself to his care and had
given him her beauty and her solicitude. He did in his heart believe
that she loved him. He remembered the last words of her letter--"Oh,
George, if you knew how I love you!" He did not doubt but that those
words were true. He did not suppose that she had given her heart to
Sir Francis Geraldine,--that she had truly and sincerely devoted
herself to one so mean as that! Such heart as she had to give had
been given to himself. But there had been traffic of marriage with
this man, and even continued correspondence and an understanding as
to things which had put her with all her loveliness on a level with
him rather than with her existing husband. What this understanding
was he did not, he said, care to inquire. It had existed and still
did exist. That was enough to make him know that she was untrue to
him as his wife,--untrue in spirit if not in body. But in truth he
did care to know. It was, indeed, because he had not known, because
he had been allowed only to guess and search and think about it, that
all this misery had come. He had been kept in the dark, and to be
kept in the dark was to him, of all troubles, the most grievous. When
he had first received the letter from Sir Francis he had not believed
it to be true;--from first to last it had been a fiction. But when
once his wife had told him that the engagement had existed, he
believed all.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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