Feminist fiction, Australian; Sex role -- Fiction; Short stories, Australian; Women -- Fiction
"Are you mad? No, tell him Mistress is reading herself, and ask him
to stay and have a good cup of coffee and sweet rusks. I want to get
the truth out of him about the magistrate's girl's illness; he was up
there, and I don't believe a sniff in her sprained foot--"
And down below the rose-buds opened into roses, and nodded with the
effrontery of assured beauty to the sun-god; and the birds hushed them
for their noon siesta; and he lay with shut eyes and held her hand
tightly; and sometimes he spoke to her, and sometimes he muttered to
himself (she caught the words) a line of his favorite Mangan:--
"Sleep! no more the dupe of hopes and schemes,
Soon thou sleepest where the thistles blow!
Curious anticlimax to thy dreams
Twenty golden years ago!"
The odd unpleasant smell seems to hang about them as if too heavy to
diffuse itself in the thin, clear air; the smell of cow-sheds that
clings to the cow-girl's clothes is perfume to it. It attracted the
flies, and they gathered like swarming bees on the window-panes and
door-posts, and buzzed and hummed and stung like Bushmen carousing over
a find of dead meat; and they crept over the bed and stuck in his hair,
and she tried to keep them off his face; and when one of them crawled
up her own with tickling, clinging feet, she paled and shuddered. The
cow-girl stepped out of her clogs, and went into the drawing-room and
brought out a gayly painted palm-leaf fan, and stationing herself at
the head of the bed set it in motion. His breathing is getting labored,
and at times an ugly flush crosses his face. Once when it is deeper
than usual, the girl cries,--
"O Lord God! Lord God!"
He hears her and looks up. "Ah, Gudrun, is that you? Good girl, good
girl!"
She sinks on to her knees, and moans and rocks herself; and then she
looks at his closed eyes and says to her: "Mistress, may I? It can't
harm you!"
She nods her head wearily; she is fanning awkwardly with her left
hand, and she says with her tired, tender voice: "Gudrun wants to say
good-by, dear!"
He opens his eyes, and for a moment the charm of his rare smile
returns. The girl stoops and leaves a kiss upon his forehead, and then
rushes away and flings herself down on the long lush grass, that is
never cut, under a big chestnut-tree.
He looks at her and lifts her hand to his lips: "Always a big heart,
always a great little woman [with a groan]! and now I am to lose
you, and it is the best thing could happen to you. Ay, there's the
sting,--leave you to some brute, that is my punishment. O little one!
don't you think too hardly of me," he talks with effort; "I meant to
be better than I was to you. You'll never find another man love you as
I did; remember that, and forget all the rest if you can. You _have_
forgotten all, I might have known you would! Where am I drifting to? No
man ever came back to say. Do you believe in hell [eagerly], do _you_
believe in it?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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