This should have been cheering news, but, somehow, John Ellery did not
feel cheerful that afternoon. The tired feeling he had spoken of so
lightly was worse than he had described it, and he was despondent, for
no particular reason. That night he slept miserably and awoke with a
chill to find a cold, pouring rain beating against the windows of the
shanty.
He could not eat and he could not keep warm, even with the cook-stove
top red hot and a blanket over his shoulders. By noon the chill had
gone and he was blazing with fever. Still the rain and the wind, and no
visitors at the ropes, not even the light-keeper.
He lay down on his bed and tried to sleep, but though he dozed a bit,
woke always with a start and either a chill or fever fit. His head began
to ache violently. And then, in the lonesomeness and misery, fear began
to take hold of him.
He remembered the symptoms the doctor had warned him against, headache,
fever, and all the rest. He felt his wrists and arms and began to
imagine that beneath the skin were the little bunches, like small shot,
that were the certain indications. Then he remembered how that other man
had looked, how he had died. Was he to look that way and die like that?
And he was all alone, they had left him alone.
Night came. The rain had ceased and stars were shining clear. Inside the
shanty the minister tossed on the bed, or staggered back and forth about
the two rooms. He wondered what the time might be; then he did not care.
He was alone. The smallpox had him in its grip. He was alone and he
was going to die. Why didn't some one come? Where was Mrs. Coffin? And
Grace? She was somewhere near him--Parker had said so--and he must see
her before he died. He called her name over and over again.
The wind felt cold on his forehead. He stumbled amidst the beach grass.
What was this thing across his path? A rope, apparently, but why should
there be ropes in that house? There had never been any before. He
climbed over it and it was a climb of hundreds of feet and the height
made him giddy. That was a house, another house, not the one he had been
living in. And there were lights all about. Perhaps one of them was the
light at the parsonage. And a big bell was booming. That was his church
bell and he would be late for the meeting.
Some one was speaking to him. He knew the voice. He had known it always
and would know it forever. It was the voice he wanted to hear. “Grace!”
he called. “Grace! I want you. Don't go! Don't go! Grace! oh, my dear!
don't go!”
Then the voice had gone. No, it had not gone. It was still there and he
heard it speaking to him, begging him to listen, pleading with him to
go somewhere, go back, back to something or other. And there was an arm
about his waist and some one was leading him, helping him. He broke down
and cried childishly and some one cried with him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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