“David used to tell me, Arthur, that if only that power is roused in
a soul, if only it dwells in that sacredness, there can no longer be
fear or evil in its life; that the strife and the vanity and the
misery in this cruel world about us come from nothing else but that
men do not know this vision, that it is so hard--so dreadfully
hard--to win. And he used to say that this power is infinite, that
it depends only upon how much one wants it; and that he who
possessed it had the gift of King Midas, and turned all things that
he touched to gold. That is real madness to me, Arthur, and will not
let me be still; and yet I know that it cannot ever die in me; for
whenever there is an instant's weakness there flashes over me again
the fearful thought of David, that he is gone back into nothingness,
that nowhere can I ever see him, ever hear his voice or speak to him
again,-that I am alone-alone! And that makes me clench my hands and
nerve my soul, and fight again, and still again! Arthur, I did that
for days, and did not once know why-only because David had told me
to, because I was filled with a fearful terror of proving a coward
soul, because I had heard him say that if one only held the faith
and prayed, the word would come to him at last. And it was true--it
was true, Arthur; it was like the tearing apart of the skies, it was
as if I had rent my way through them. I saw, as I had never dreamed
I could see when I heard David speak of it, how God's Presence is
infinite and real; how it guides the blazing stars, and how our life
is but an instant and is nothing beside it; and how it makes no
difference that we pass into nothingness--His glory is still the
same. Then I saw too what a victory I had won, Arthur,--how I could
live in it, and how I was free, and master of my life; there came
over me a feeling for which there is no word, a kind of demon force
that was madness. I thought of that wonderful sixth chapter of
Isaiah that David used to think so much beyond reading, that he used
to call the artist's chapter; and oh, I knew just what it was that I
had to do in the world!”
Helen had been speaking very intensely, her voice shaking; the
other's gaze was riveted upon her face. “Arthur,” she added, her
voice sinking to a whisper, “I have no art, but you have; and we
must fight together for this fearful glory, we must win this prize
of God.” And for a long time the two sat in silence, trembling,
while the darkness gathered about them. Helen had turned her head,
and gazed out, with face uplifted, at the starry shield that
quivered and shook above them; suddenly Arthur saw her lips moving
again, and heard her speaking the wonderful words that she had
referred to,--her voice growing more and more intense, and sinking
into a whisper of awe:--
“In the year that King Uzziah died I saw also the Lord sitting upon
a throne, high and lifted up, and his train filled the temple.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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