What he was seeking was her real face, WHICH DID NOT EXIST, for a face
is the expression of a soul, and she had no soul. Had she ever loved
him? that is what he would have liked to ascertain, if nothing
more. Had she smiled on Rampal? Perhaps--God! could it be
possible? Who knows? Of what was she not capable to consummate her
crime?--And yet he secretly admired her for the extraordinary perfidy
he attributed to her. The Saracen blood, the blood of heathen pirates,
did not flow in his veins for nothing.
Yes, indeed, if, in her hate-inspired work, she had had need of
Rampal, with whom he had several times seen her talking, was it not
possible that she had given herself to him in order to make him
absolutely submissive to her will? What was he thinking of? Given
herself to him? No, not that!--Not in its fullest meaning, at all
events--but she might have let him steal a kiss--a long kiss,
perhaps--from her lips. And the herdsman felt the keen point of the
spear of jealousy pierce his heart.
He thought and thought, feverish with passion, excited by his
excessive exertions for several days past, and he rode through the
fields and swamps, amid the grass and stones of Crau, surrounded by
buzzing insects maddened by the heat, which was terrible.
Great God! only the night before, he had believed that she had a
veritable woman's passion for him, a passion like those he had often
aroused in women, with his strength, his courage, and his prowess as
horse-breaker and cavalier. And as she was the daughter of a free
race, and queen of her tribe, he had been proud of his conquest. He
had straightened himself up in his saddle, like a crowned king,
conqueror in many battles. He had handled his spear with a firmer
hand. He had glanced proudly at the other drovers, his comrades, with
a distinct feeling that he was "better than they," since this savage
queen, who, in her travels, had doubtless seen so many brave and
comely men, had chosen him--even though he were not the first!--that
she, whom the laws of her people forbade to love a European dog, the
slave of cities, had chosen him, the drover of Camargue!
Now that that happiness was gone from him, he suddenly realized its
value. An immense void lay before him. For the first time, the desert
seemed a melancholy place to him, too vast, too bare. He realized that
henceforth his whole life would lie in the past. He was no longer the
king! He would never be the king again! She had never loved him! And
she had pretended that she did!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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