Kirsteen: The Story of a Scotch Family Seventy Years AgoOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
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Kirsteen: The Story of a Scotch Family Seventy Years Ago
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Domestic fiction; Scotland -- Fiction
Miss Jean had no power to resist or to pretend that she did not
understand. She rose, trembling, and unlocked her escritoire and brought
the paper out, fumbling in the depths of a pigeon-hole in which she had
buried it, that it might never be seen more. She was very tremulous, her
face drawn, her eyes full of moisture. “I canna think how you could make
anything out of that,” she said almost querulously in the excess of her
feeling. “There’s nothing, nothing in that, to say who it was. No person
could divine. It might be somebody you never heard of.”
It is possible that after the utter and undoubting convictions of the
first moment such a thought might have come to Kirsteen’s mind too. She
put out her hand for the paper. Miss Jean kept on talking in a fretful
tone. “You’ve had no tea, not a thing since two o’clock, and now it’s
eleven at night--you’ve had no rest--work, work, as if your bread
depended on it; and it’s no such thing. I suppose you think you’re made
of something different from the ordinary, no mere flesh and blood.”
Kirsteen paid no attention. She did not hear, the words were as a vague
accompaniment, like the sound of wheels and faint voices and footsteps
out of doors. She opened the paper with steady nervous hands that did
not tremble, and read over again every word. Then she turned to the list
“Casualties.” Casualties! Accidents!--was that a word to use for the
list of the dead? When she had read it her hands dropped on her knee
with the paper held in them, and from her colourless lips there came a
faint sound, inarticulate, hoarse, the knell of hope. There had not been
any hope in her heart: but to say that and to know that hope is over,
are two things. In the one there was still a possibility--the other was
death itself. Oh, the possibility had been very faint, very feeble! She
had worked on all day, struggled on to preserve it, not asking for
conviction. Sometimes to know the worst is what we desire. Sometimes we
would prefer to put it from us, not to make sure, for a little. But
there it was: no further doubt, “Captain Drummond;” his name and no
other. “Will ye wait till I come back?” He was standing by her, saying
it--and lying there--with the handkerchief. It was all past, the whole
story, as if it had happened a hundred years ago.
“Miss Kirsteen--most likely you are making yourself miserable about
nothing. How can ye tell by a story like that who it is? Oh, my bonny
dear, I am asking no questions, but to see you like that just breaks my
heart.”
Kirsteen smiled in spite of herself at the idea of any heart being
broken but her own, of any one being miserable who had not known him,
who had never seen him, who did not even know his name. She said nothing
for a few moments and then she spoke with a voice quite tuneless and
flat, but steady. “Miss Jean--I will have to go for a day or two--to
the Highlands.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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