Kirsteen: The Story of a Scotch Family Seventy Years AgoOliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
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Kirsteen: The Story of a Scotch Family Seventy Years Ago
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
Domestic fiction; Scotland -- Fiction
Kirsteen said nothing in reply, but instinctively quickened her pace a
little. She heard the rumble of the cart in the darkness round a corner
which was to deliver her from Anne’s wisdom and helplessness, the first
of which was worse than the last. And after a while the gleam of
another lantern, the horse’s hoofs and jog of the cart guided them to
the spot where Duncan stood, his ruddy face grave with sympathy. He made
a little remark about the waeful occasion, and the need of supporting
God’s will, raising his bonnet reverently; and then Mrs. Dewar was
helped into the cart, and went rumbling away into the darkness, still
relieved for a time by the gleams growing fainter and fainter thrown by
Duncan’s lantern from side to side.
The wind had fallen and the burn ran more softly, as Kirsteen walked
home. She was very tired, in that state of exaltation which extreme
exhaustion and sorrow sometimes bring, as if lifted out of herself
altogether into a clear, still atmosphere of utter sadness, yet relief.
The active suffering was over, she was incapable of further pain, but
unutterably sad and sorrowful, hushed out of all complaining. The
darkness enveloped her and soothed her, hiding her from all the world so
that she could go on, weeping all to herself with no one to ask why or
how.
“True loves I may get many an ane,
But minnie ne’er anither.”
These words kept wandering through her mind involuntarily while the
tears fell down, and her mouth quivered with something like a smile. The
futile contrast now, to her who could have no true love but one, and no
second mother. She went on very softly in the dark, as in a dream,
feeling in her face the freshness of the mountain air and the turn of
the night towards morning--silently weeping as she walked. The greater
of her losses was altogether secret, a thing to be known of none.
Neither of her sorrows was for the public eye. Her life, which was so
far from this and so different, awaited her with labours and cares
unknown to this solitude, and she had much to do with which no loss or
sorrow could interfere. She was to be the stand-by of the family, she
who had fled from it to find a shelter among strangers. She must not
even sit down to weep for her mother. Only thus could she allow herself
the indulgence of tears. The darkness was sweet to her, wrapping her
round, keeping all her secrets. The heavens did not open to show her any
beatitude, the landscape which she loved was all hidden away as if it
did not exist. Nor were there any ecstatic thoughts in her heart of
reunion or heavenly rapture. There was a long, long weary road
stretching before her, years that seemed endless going on and on,
through which she must walk, weeping only in the dark, smiling and busy
through the day. Kirsteen made up her mind to all that was before her in
that solitary walk, going towards her desolate home. In a day or two she
would have left it, probably for ever, and gone back to a manifold and
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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